The Top 20 Newest Jokes and Puns from BestJokeHub.com

A chemist mixes two chemicals with ash from a German Crematorium.

A chemist mixes two chemicals with ash from a German Crematorium.

The poor guy got fired for it. It was his Final Solution.

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More jokes about: #Chemicals
Don't worry about the antivax fad.

Don't worry about the antivax fad.

It'll die off sooner rather than later.

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More jokes about: #Fad
They say that United can't make it any worse for themselves.

They say that United can't make it any worse for themselves.

"Hold my beer" - United Spokesperson

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More jokes about: #Spokesperson
Strange that some awe is good.

Strange that some awe is good.

But full awe is bad.

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More jokes about: #Awe
The president's eldest daughter wants to visit East Africa.

The president's eldest daughter wants to visit East Africa.

That's So Malia

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More jokes about: #Eldest
There was a chef who had a dish he needed to cook.

There was a chef who had a dish he needed to cook.

He had almost all of the ingredients he needed.

But he did not have enough of one crucial spice.

He was pressed for thyme.

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More jokes about: #Pressed
My uncle's wife...

My uncle's wife...

My uncle's wife used to stay awake at night planning how to take the law into her own hands.

She was my vigilauntie.

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More jokes about: #Awake #Gil
Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?.

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?.

Because it's non binary

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More jokes about: #Computing
What's the worst thing you can do to a teenager?.

What's the worst thing you can do to a teenager?.

*Take away his lotion.*

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More jokes about: #Lotion
Why are Scandinavians so good looking?.

Why are Scandinavians so good looking?.

The Vikings didn't rape the ugly ones

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More jokes about: #Vikings #Scan
Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Elon Musk are golfing together.

Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Elon Musk are golfing together.

ips are in his ear and his tooth, so no need to point fingers. While each of the men are impressed with each other’s technological advances, in the middle of the conversation between the men, Jeff walks away a little, pulls his pants down and starts taking a shit. Bill and Elon, confused as fuck, look at each other and then Jeff. He responds by saying “Sorry, I’m getting a fax.”

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More jokes about: #Microchip #Fax
A doctor is examining a woman in the Emergency Room.

A doctor is examining a woman in the Emergency Room.

The doctor takes the husband aside and says, I don't like the looks of your wife at all.

Me neither, Doc. But she's a great cook and she is really good with the kids.

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More jokes about: #Examining
A blonde drops a dress off at the cleaners.

A blonde drops a dress off at the cleaners.

As she's leaving the lady behind the counter says "come again"

The blonde says "no just toothpaste this time"

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More jokes about: #Cleaners
What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts? (Star Trek)

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts? (Star Trek).

The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

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More jokes about: #Troopers #Shirts
Why is Helen Kellers belly button bruised?.

Why is Helen Kellers belly button bruised?.

Her boyfriend is blind too.

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More jokes about: #Bruised
One of the main goals for Republicans is to close our Borders. Well, mission accomplished.

One of the main goals for Republicans is to close our Borders. Well, mission accomplished.

I hear they're going after Books-A-Million next.

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More jokes about: #Accomplished
The pirate and the sailor.

The pirate and the sailor.

about your hook hand?"

"Me first mate tried to kill me with his sword but only got me hand instead."

"Okay," says the sailor, "but what about your eye patch?"

"I was walking along the beach and a seagull pooped on me eye." the pirate explains.

"A seagull pooped your eye out?" the sailor asks incredulously.

"No," the pirate explains, "it was the first day with me hook."

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More jokes about: #First #Mate
What happens when you take a Chinese smartphone somewhere unsafe?.

What happens when you take a Chinese smartphone somewhere unsafe?.

...you take the Huawei to the Danger Zone.

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More jokes about: #Unsafe
A plane crushed on top of a cemetery.

A plane crushed on top of a cemetery.

In the evening news:

So far they found 255 body... but they continue the digging.

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More jokes about: #Crushed
My doctor prescribed me a new medication.

My doctor prescribed me a new medication.

It’s called Fukitol. Unfortunately, the pharmacy had none left to give.

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More jokes about: #Prescribed