Best 1921 Animal Jokes and Puns

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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More jokes about: #Animal jokes
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?It gets toad away.

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Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?A: "Put it on my bill."

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More jokes about: #Clean jokes #Animal jokes
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch.

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

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Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?

Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

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More jokes about: #Animal jokes #Family jokes
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

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More jokes about: #Word play jokes #Animal jokes
Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? A: Because he was always spotted.

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You love flowers, but you cut them.

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!

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More jokes about: #Animals #Love #Quotes #Top #100
Q.

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: "How do you breathe through something so small?"

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More jokes about: #Animal jokes
Q: How do you count cows?

Q: How do you count cows? A: With a cowculator.

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More jokes about: #Animal jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to save a fish from drowning.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to save a fish from drowning.

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More jokes about: #Animal jokes #Yo momma jokes
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you."

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."

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More jokes about: #Animal jokes
A duck walks into a bar.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

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A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot.

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal."

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."

"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
Boy: hey I just saw your mom on t.v last night.

Boy: hey I just saw your mom on t.v last night.

girl: really?!?!?! what channel?

Boy: Animal planet

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More jokes about: #Funny #Comeback
What's the difference between men and pigs?

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Alcohol #Animal #Men
What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts?

What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Alcohol #Animal #Money #Puns
Life is all about perspective.

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Animal #Attitude
Name?

Name? Abdul Aziz from Pakistan.

. Sex? Three to five times a day. No, no...I mean male or female? Yes, male, female, sometimes camel. Holy cow! Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. But isn't that hostile? Horse style, doggy style, any style! Oh dear! No, no! Deer run too fast...

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More jokes about: #Funny #Racial