Best 612 Biggest Jokes and Puns

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

" I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Who's the biggest prostitute in history?

Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.

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Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying.

Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays . The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that. Mom says cause u black and they white. Next day Tyrone is crying again . What's wrong today Tyrone his mother ask. Tyrone said teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that. Mom says cause u black and they white. Next day he comes home smiling. What happened today Tyrone. Tyrone says mama we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white. Mama says no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6

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Like if you rather be having the best sex of your life with the person you've had the biggest sexual crush on right now rather than be reading this.

Like if you rather be having the best sex of your life with the person you've had the biggest sexual crush on right now rather than be reading this. Dislike if you would rather have Diarrhea with no bathroom in sight

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Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom.

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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China...austraila..new zealand...south africa is fighting who has the best stuff

china...austraila..new zealand...south africa is fighting who has the best stuffchina says they have the biggest wallaustraila says they have the best grassnew zealand says they have the best flagsouth africa says they have the springbuck ..he jumps over the wall ...shits on the grass...and wipes his ass with the flag

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China, Russia, and Poland venture to space.

China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

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One day three women went for a job interview.

One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.” Which one of the three women got the job? The one with the biggest tits!

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Tyrone's first day in the first grade he came home crying.

Tyrone's first day in the first grade he came home crying. When his mother asked why, he replied, "The teacher told us to say our ABC's and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to the letter E. Why is that? His mom said, "Because you black and they white." The next day Tyrone was crying again. "What's wrong today, Tyrone?" his mother asked. Tyrone said, "Teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get up to 10. Why is that?" The mom answered, "Because you black and they white." The third day he came home smiling. "What happened today, Tyrone?" asked his mom. "We went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all, because I'm black and they white, right mama?" She said, "No, Tyrone, it's because you 17 and they 6."

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There is a white boy, a Mexican boy, and a black boy who are all in the fifth grade.

There is a white boy, a Mexican boy, and a black boy who are all in the fifth grade. Who has the biggest d*ck?

The black boy, because he's 18.

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A pastor walked outside of the church because he heard the children being loud.

A pastor walked outside of the church because he heard the children being loud. He sees the kids all grouped up. "What are you doing?" The children make the circle wider to show a puppy they had found. "Its a beautiful dog, who will take it home?" The pastor asks. The children look at each other until one of them speaks up. "I know! Whoever tells the biggest lie can take it home! Would you like to play pastor?" The pastor shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know, it will be hard because I've never told a lie." The child picks the dog up and hands it to the pastor, "Here you go. You win."

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What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites?

What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud.

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Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's lingerie in the world?

Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's lingerie in the world? A: In Africa: there's thousands of Z bras.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest breasts in the third grade?

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest breasts in the third grade? A: Because she's 21.

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Why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths?

Why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths?

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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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Yo momma is so skank, that the local STD clinic had an open day in her honor ... because her's was the biggest opening they'd seen in years

Yo momma is so skank, that the local STD clinic had an open day in her honor ... because her's was the biggest opening they'd seen in years

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“What the heck is going on here?” said an angry  man storming into the florist shop.

“What the heck is going on here?” said an angry  man storming into the florist shop. “I just lost one of my main clients and it’s your fault!”

“Why don’t you calm down a bit” said the lady behind the counter, “and let us know what exactly happened.”

“Well,” said the man “My biggest client moved to a new location, and to be nice I called you guys up and asked you to send him some flowers with a note saying “congratulations on your new location.”

He calls me up and says to me “what’s the big deal with sending me  a note that says “rest in peace?!”

“Oh no!” she sighed, “now I know why I got a nasty message from the funeral parlor!”

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Q: Who's the biggest faggot in the world?

Q: Who's the biggest faggot in the world?

A: Pac-man he swallows balls till he's dead.

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The biggest swindler in the world dies and finds himself before the gates of Heaven and St. Peter, who says, "Come on in man!"

The biggest swindler in the world dies and finds himself before the gates of Heaven and St. Peter, who says, "Come on in man!" Confused, the swindler questions, "But I thought I would be going to Hell for all of the bad things I did." St. Peter replies, "Oh, we don't keep records here, it's too much work!" The swindler goes in, and is once again surprised to see tons of beautiful girls whipping themselves. He asks St. Peter, "Why are they doing that?" St. Peter answers, "Ah, those are all of our virgins. They just found out we don't keep records, too!"

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