Best 1013 Celebrating Jokes and Puns

Rate this kickass if you want Justin Bieber out of the country!

if you think Justin bieber is a gay, retarded little girl, rate kickass.

Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.

Vote kickass if you would want the old Miley Cyrus back.

A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!"

rate kick ass if you think miley cyrus should go to whore island

When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".

I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked "Why are you crying?"

I said "Because he didn't die in real life"

Anna boyfriend walked into the annas house and the anna said to her mom, "Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room" and the mom says, "Ok honey, you kids have fun." When they are up their the mom hears: "Baby baby baby oh!" The mom walks to the door and ask, "What the hell is going on?" The anna says, "Mom were just having sex." and the mom says, "Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber."

Baby, baby, baby ooh!

Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?

Daughter: No, I'm watching porn.

Mom: Oh, thank goodness.

The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.

Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back...

So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?

Both their balls are decoration only.

Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!

When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, “What song would u sing of mine justin?” Justin said, “If I were a boy.”

Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.

Why dont niggers celebrate thanksgiving

KFC is not open on holidays

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.

Except for Chris Brown.

Celebrities should have cereals.

Justin Timberflakes

Snoop Loops Macklesmores

Post yours in the comments.

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."