Best 209 Chemicals Jokes and Puns

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?" Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about?" Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

A chemical warehouse was robbed at gunpoint, the assailants cleaned out all stores of substances with pH above 7.

"All your base are belong to us"

Four engineers get into a car.. The car won't start.

The Mechanical engineer says: "It's a broken starter".

The Electrical engineer says: "Dead battery".

The Chemical engineer says: "Impurities in the gasoline".

The IT engineer says: "Hey guys, I have an idea how about we all get out of the car and get back in".

Teacher asks Little Johnny A Question..

Teacher: "OK class, who will give me the chemical formula for water?"

Johnny: "HIJKLMNO."

Teacher: "What on earth are you on about?"

Johnny: "Well you said yourself yesterday it was H to O!"

What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?.

System of a Downs

My Chemical Imbalance.

Youth In Asia

NBC.

Every time I see or hear anything related to the NBC news network, my brain automatically goes: Nuclear, Biological, Chemical.

The Norwegian Fire Department.

any president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.

Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat truck!"

I've always enjoyed turning the blue cleaning chemicals in the toilet green when I pee.

Except that one time I turned it purple and had to go to the hospital

THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

When I was in my tenth grade biology honors class, we were tasting a compound known as PTC. For those of you that don't know PTC is a chemical that you can either taste, super-taste or not taste at all and it depends entirely on genetics. I couldn't taste it but my tablemate Eric (made up name for p... read more

My doctor said I was depressed due to a chemical imbalance...

and I think he was right, I feel a lot better now that I'm getting Sarah Toenin and Norah Penn-Effron regularly.

What chemical reaction does Redbull go through?.

A red ox reaction.

A man with dentures goes to the dentist.

g?" Than man says, "after a recent fancy breakfast, I have fallen in love with Hollandaise sauce and now, I put it on everything." The Dentist replies, "ok then, we can fix your dentures but I will have to custom order them to be made out of chrome." The man says, "chrome? Why would I want chrome false teeth?" The Dentist replies, "everyone knows, that there is no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

A mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer.

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down. The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke. The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's ... read more

There were four engineers in a car..

..A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and an IT engineer. They were driving down the road when the car suddenly broke down.

"It must be the engine!" Said the mechanical engineer.

"Hang on, it's the battery, I know all about this." Replied the electrical engineer.

"It has to be the fuel! I'm an expert on this you know." The chemical engineer chimed in.

"Nah, nah. I know what it is." Said the IT engineer. "We all have to get out of the car, and back in again."

What does My Chemical Romance and my dad have in common?.

They're both never coming home

What’s the similarity between girls into nail art and Germans?.

Both remove polish with chemicals.

What do you call someone who says you can chemically bond Lithium and Argon?.

Well, just ask them what the bond would be named.

Chemistry jokes.

e doesn't react.

5. What do you call a king's fart? Noble gas.

6. What did the scientist say when he discovered 2 isotopes of helium? He He

7. What's the chemical formula for water? HIJKLMNO

8. I would post more but all the good ones Argon.

Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye.

Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler.