Best 283 Cleaners Jokes and Puns

Yo mama is so fat when she took her dress to the dry cleaners they said, “Sorry, we don’t do curtains."

Yo mama is so fat when she took her dress to the dry cleaners they said, “Sorry, we don’t do curtains."

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Yo mama is so fat when she took her pants to the dry cleaners they said “sorry we don’t do curtains”

Yo mama is so fat when she took her pants to the dry cleaners they said “sorry we don’t do curtains”

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Monica Lewinsky walks into the dry cleaners.

Monica Lewinsky walks into the dry cleaners. The old man behind the counter is hard of hearing and doesn't understand her request, so he says, "Come again." Monica responds, "No, this time it's mustard."

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Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?

Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner? A: The location of the dirt bag.

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A guy walks into a dry cleaner to pick up his clothes and the cashier says, ''Come again.''

A guy walks into a dry cleaner to pick up his clothes and the cashier says, ''Come again.''

The guy says: "Nah, this time it was ketchup."

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A woman decides to get a porno, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title.

A woman decides to get a porno, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title. When she plays the movie, the screen gets fuzzy and nothing is going on. When she calls the store about the movie, they ask her what the title was, and she says, "Head Cleaner."

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Girl: I wear heels bigger than your dick.

Girl: I wear heels bigger than your dick.

Boy: I wear Vans cleaner than your pussy.

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Milking Machine.

Milking Machine.

A guy visited his farmer friend at his farm. He saw the farmer milking the cows then the guy told him, how the hell you still use your hands for milking the cows!!! There are milking machines out there. It save time, efforts and cleaner. The farmer was convinced and both of them went to the city and... read more

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If a walkie-talkie is called 'walkie-talkie'...

If a walkie-talkie is called 'walkie-talkie'...

... then why isn't a vaccuum cleaner called 'pushy-sucky'?

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Wife v Hoover.

Wife v Hoover.

After ten years together, what is the difference between a wife and a vacuum cleaner?The vacuum cleaner still sucks.

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Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

Once upon a time, a small boy named Bashir lived in a tiny Pakistani village.

eacher told her honestly that her son is a disaster, getting very low marks and that she had never seen a dumb boy like Bashir in her whole career and that nothing would ever become of him.

The mother could not accept such a feedback and she took her son out from that school and she eventually shifted to another city.

25 years passed and the teacher got a cardio disorder and all the doctors advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform in another city.

Left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful. When she opened her eyes, she saw the handsome face of the doctor, smiling at her. Being under the anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk. In turn, the doctor was staring at her face which started turning blue. She was raising her hand trying to tell him something but in vain and eventually she died.

The doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw Bashir working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner.

If you were thinking that Bashir became a doctor, it's because you have been watching too many movies, serials or have read too many motivational forwarded messages.

Bashir is still Bashir.

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Microsoft will start making ...

Microsoft will start making ...

vacuum cleaners. It will be the only thing they make that doesn't suck.

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Walked into a dry cleaners the other day and I was amazed.

Walked into a dry cleaners the other day and I was amazed.

The chap behind the counter had fluorescent blue gel like hands. To my further amazement, he was using them as detergent on the clothes.

I said, excuse me sir, may I ask you to hold my bag whilst I take a photo of your appendages?! I feel like the internet would be amazed at this

He said I can't sorry, my hands are tide

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SpaceX announced today that they are removing the astronaut janitor position from their first manned flight to Mars.

SpaceX announced today that they are removing the astronaut janitor position from their first manned flight to Mars.

There just isn't enough room in the ship for a vacuum cleaner.

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I went to a chemist to get rid of the coronavirius.

I went to a chemist to get rid of the coronavirius.

I went into chemist.Asked the assistant 'what gets rid of coronavirus?'She said 'ammonia cleaner'.I said 'I'm sorry, I thought you worked here'

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A vicar is having a wank in the bathroom.

A vicar is having a wank in the bathroom.

As he"s finishing himself off, he turns around to see the window cleaner staring at him. Red faced, he rushes downstairs as he hears a knock at the door. "I"ve done your windows vicar, that"ll be £100" says the cleaner with a smirk and a wink. Hurriedly, the vicar pays him and shuts the ... read more

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Mother nature decides to buy a condo in Miami Beach.

Mother nature decides to buy a condo in Miami Beach.

e Easter Bunny ensured her cupboard would be well stocked throughout the year.

Cupid provided a complete bedroom set with king size bed.

However, Mother Nature became enraged when she opened her gift from The Joker. She went on a tantrum and caused a class 5 hurricane to wipe out Miami Beach.

The Joker had given her a Dyson V6 Cordless Cleaner and we all know nature abhors a vacuum.

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I had amnesia and can't figure out what a vacuum cleaner is supposed to do

I had amnesia and can't figure out what a vacuum cleaner is supposed to do.

It sucks

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I just put my vacuum cleaner on eBay.

I just put my vacuum cleaner on eBay.

Well, it was just collecting dust.

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Dirtiest joke.

Dirtiest joke.

A white horse rolled in mud.

Cleaner version- I gave it a bath.

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