Best 1010 Comeback Jokes and Puns

Police: Where do u live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With Me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbors house?

Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.

Police: Tell Me!

Me: Next to my house.

My friend: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.

Me: No wonder your moms mouth is so fresh.

Class: OOOOHHHHHH!!!

"Haha, you failed!"

"Yeah, so did your dad's condom."

Twinkle Twinkle little slut

Name a guy you haven't f*cked

Was he skinny, was he tall

Nevermind you did them all

Twinkle Twinkle little b*tch

Close your legs it smells like fish

* nerds phone rings in class *

Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?

* whole class laughs *

Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.

* whole class is silent *

Tough guy: I can't believe your still a Virgin! HAHAHAHA

Other Guy: I was a Virgin until last night

Tough guy: As if!

Other guy: Yeah man just ask your sister

Tough Guy: I don't have a sister???

Other Guy: You will in about 9 months

Me: Mum i got a detention today

Mum: Why!

Me: Well the teacher pointed the ruler at me and said "at the end of this ruler is a idiot".

Mum: Yeah so

Me: I asked what end.

Teacher- Did you do your homework?

Student - Did you grade my test?

Teacher - I have other students' tests to grade.

Student - I have other teachers' homework to do.

#LIKE A BOSS

Bully - "Hey fat ass. Why you so fat?"

Fat kid - "Because every time I f*ck ya mother she give me a cookie."

Teacher: Where the hell is your math homework?!

Me: it committed suicide, had too many problems.

Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?

Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?

Girl: *stares at me for 30 sec*

Me: "What you looking at?"

Girl: " Idk, something ugly!"

Me: " BITCH, I ain't no mirror!"

Mom: Go clean your room!

Me: But its MY room.

Mom: And this is MY house.

Me: Then you go clean it.

Boy texted his dad saying

Boy:I got expelled

Dad: WHAT WHY

Boy: cos we had this lesson about bulling and the teacher said sticks and stones may break my bone but words will never hurt me

Dad: and

Boy: so I threw a book at her face and it broke her nose

Dad : lol that's my boy

Them: Bitch.

You: call me a b*tch again i dare you.

Them: Bitch

You: That's right b*tches do what their told.

I hate it when ugly people say "I need my beauty sleep." Bitch you need to hibernate.

Teacher: Why are you here so early?

Student: Because my mom told me to go to Hell...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. God made us beautiful. What the f*ck happened to you?

Police: Where do u live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With Me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbors house?

Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.

Police: Tell Me!

Me: Next to my house.

Police: Yay

Guy: FAIL!!

Me: no one asked you for your life story.