Best 57 Fax Jokes and Puns

We just got a fax.

We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.

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More jokes about: #One #Liner #Intelligence #It #Stupid
Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican, an Asian, and a white guy.

Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican, an Asian, and a white guy. The Mexican and white guy are showing off their new tech gadgets. The white guy says, "Hey, look what I got: the new Google Glass!" The Mexican Asian say, "Wow, that's nice, man." Then the Mexican guy says, "Check out my new cellphone; it's a watch!" The white guy and Asian say, "Very cool, dude." The Asian guy has nothing to show these guys, so he gets up and walks away naked to to the bathroom. Then he comes back 5 minutes later from the bathroom still naked with paper hanging out of his butt crack. The Mexican and white guy say, "Hey, you have something hanging out of your ass." The Asian guy says, "Oh look, I'm receiving a Fax!"

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
What My Blonde Friend Did

What My Blonde Friend Did

She called me to get my phone number.

She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She got stabbed in a shoot-out.

She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

She tried to put MM's in alphabetical order.

She sat on the TV and watched the couch.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.

They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius."

She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

She studied for a blood test.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

She sold the car for gas money.

When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

-The Awesome 1

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More jokes about: #Funny #Blonde
They need a Car FAX report for girls.

They need a Car FAX report for girls.

"I've only slept with two guys."

Yeah right, show me the WhoreFAX.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Dirty
A Fiat 500 pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at a traffic light.

A Fiat 500 pulled alongside a Rolls-Royce at a traffic light. "Do you have a car phone?" asked the driver of the Fiat. "Of course I do," replied the haughty deluxe-car driver. "Well, do you have a fax machine?" The driver of the Rolls sighed, "I have that too." "Then do you have a double bed in the trunk?" the Fiat driver wanted to know. Embarrassed, the Rolls driver sped off. That afternoon, he ordered a mechanic to install a double bed in the trunk. A week later the Rolls driver passed the same Fiat 500 parked on the side of the road with the back windows fogged up and steam pouring out. The arrogant driver pulls over, gets out of the Rolls, and bangs on the Fiat's back window until the driver sticks his head out. "I wanted to tell you I have a double bed installed," says the proud Rolls driver. The Fiat driver is unimpressed, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"

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More jokes about: #Miscellaneous jokes
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

ey did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

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A boat was shipwrecked in the South Pacific, as a result...

A boat was shipwrecked in the South Pacific, as a result...

woman

-Two English men and one English woman

-Two Irish men and one Irish woman

-Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian Woman

-Two Australian men and one Australian woman

-Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman

-Two Indian men and one Indian woman

-Two American men and one American woman

-Two Canadian men and one Canadian woman

One month later against this idyllic backdrop, the following had occurred:

-One Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.

-The Two French men and the French women were living happily in a ménage a trois.

-The Two German men tried to invade the French woman before eventually adopting a strict weekly schedule alternating with the German woman.

-The Two Greek men slept with each other while the Greek woman cooked and cleaned.

-The Two English men were still waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

-The Two Irish men divided the Island into North and South and set up a distillery with the Woman’s help.

-The Two Bulgarian men took one look at the endless ocean and one at the Bulgarian woman... then started swimming.

-The Two Australian men tried to sell the Australian woman in return for a homemade beer recipe.

-The Two Japanese men had faxed Tokyo and were awaiting instructions.

-The Two Indian men had opened a corner store, staffed 24/7 by them and the Indian woman.

-The Two American men were feeling suicidal since the American woman was constantly complaining about there being no fresh bottles water, she was allergic to seafood, and coconut milk was not her preferred moisturizer, and she felt fat standing next to palm trees.

-And finally the Canadians were all blissfully happy... simply because the Americans weren’t having a good time.

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My grandma told me this one.

My grandma told me this one.

apanese lifted his palm to his ear and answered. When he finished, he explained that he has a microchip installed in the palm of my hand.

The Irishman, feeling very low tech, came up with a brilliant idea as to not be outdone.

He left the sauna to go the bathroom, and came back with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse.

The two men raise their eyebrows at him, and he says:

“Will you look at that! I’m getting a fax.”

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More jokes about: #Rapid #Rapidly
How did Trump avoid discovery when all of the main means of communication were being traced?.

How did Trump avoid discovery when all of the main means of communication were being traced?.

He used the alternative fax.

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More jokes about: #Traced
“Can you please fax over your resume?” asked the interviewer.

“Can you please fax over your resume?” asked the interviewer. “I’m sorry” responded the blonde, “it’s my only copy!”

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please wait...

Rating: 2.8/5 (104 votes cast)

share me!

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More jokes about: #Blonde
When I get a lot of Myspace requests.

When I get a lot of Myspace requests.

my fax machine goes crazy.

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More jokes about: #Myspace #Fax
You kids and your Snapchat.

You kids and your Snapchat.

You can just tap a button to send nudes to your crush.Back in my day I had to draw a picture of my cock, fax it to her dads workplace and hope he’d help a brother out.

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More jokes about: #Workplace
Trumps first few months in office have been pretty rough.

Trumps first few months in office have been pretty rough.

His all-in-one printer broke down, so he's had to use some alternative fax.

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More jokes about: #Rough
My friend, a cyborg, showed me how he can print paper out of his mouth.

My friend, a cyborg, showed me how he can print paper out of his mouth.

In response, I pulled my pants down and went into a squatting position

My friend asked What are you doing?

I responded Oh! I'm feeling a fax coming in

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More jokes about: #Print
Overheard: Yesterday I got my tie stuck in the fax machine.

Overheard: Yesterday I got my tie stuck in the fax machine. Next thing I knew, I was in Los Angeles.

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SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT: ADMINISTRATIUM.

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT: ADMINISTRATIUM.

icists here. The element, tentatively named administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that it has atomic number 0 and falls outside the natural patterns exhibited by other elements. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together by a force involving the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called "memos".

Because it has no protons or electrons, administratium is inert. Nonetheless, it can be detected chemically, in that it seems to impede every reaction in which it is present. According to one of the discoverers, even a small amount of administratium made one reaction which normally lasts less than a second take more than four days.

Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years. It does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a vice neutron, assistants to the vice neutron and certain assistants to the neutron exchange places. Some studies have indicated that its mass actually increases after each reorganization, although this is yet to be explained. Another phenomenon which has been observed, as expected from the mechanics of minute particles, is that the more one tries to pin down the positions of vice neutrons within the structure of administratium, the more uncertain those positions become.

Within a short time after the discovery was announced, the existence of the element was confirmed in laboratories around the world. In addition, a team at the University of Utah told a press conference they had been able to create administratium in fusion experiments conducted at ordinary room temperature. Using highly sophisticated probability detectors, the team had monitored a stream of memos from a FAX-mounted device. Dr. May B. No and her associate, Dr. May B. Yes, said the details of their experiment were being kept confidential, pending further development of the data. But, they claimed, there were definitely more memos that came out of the device than went in.

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More jokes about: #Particles
Have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Have a date for Valentine’s Day? Hope it doesn’t end up like these

@FirstDateHell dates. • He couldn’t remember my name, so he asked if I would mind if he just called me Amy instead. • In a restaurant, she said she did a great impression of a fax

machine. Then she beeped loudly while unraveling a napkin from

her mouth. • He said, “From your photo, I thought you were too good for me. I’m glad to see you’ve got flaws.” Then he listed them.

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More jokes about: #Romance
Technology Man.

Technology Man.

to be a crazy drug addict, says "Get the hell out of here, I don't serve drug addicts!". The man had a bewildered look on his face until he put two and two together and says "No, you misunderstand. I am in sales and I got tired of carrying my cellphone around and leaving it in hotels, bars, and my car so I had it implanted in my arm". The bartender says "bullshit" the man says "No, seriously call someone". The bartender grabs the mans forearm and sure enough there where visible buttons and he decides to call his wife. After carrying on a conversation with his wife for a good ten minutes the bartender lets go of the mans arm and says "I'm sorry to doubt you, but that is amazing". The man accepts the apology and asks the bartender where the bathroom is, the bartender points to the corner and the man excuses himself. Several hours pass and the bartender has not seen or heard from the man so he decides he better check on him, as the bartender enters the bathroom he finds the man butt naked with toilet paper sticking out his his ass grasping onto the walls of the stall doors. The bartender says "What the hell!!". The man says "Oh sorry I am just waiting for a fax to come in".

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More jokes about: #Cellphone #Grasping #Fax
A man broke up with his GF via a Telefax Machine.

A man broke up with his GF via a Telefax Machine.

He said in the message that she was abusive and controlling. She said he was wrong to call her those things.He responds "It's just spittin straight fax"

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More jokes about: #Via
What's one form of communication God will never use to speak with you?.

What's one form of communication God will never use to speak with you?.

Fax

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More jokes about: #Form