Best 11 Gil Jokes and Puns

What do bees make joke.

What do bees make joke.

Logan: Patton and I don't have pet names for each other !

Virgil: Uh huh...

Virgil: So do you know what bees make ?

Logan: Honey ?

Patton from the other room: Yes babe ?

Virgil: Don't lie to my face again !

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Ghandi.

Ghandi.

Mahatma Gandhi lived a strange life

Because of his odd diet, he was plagued by a constant case of bad breath. This diet also left him rather thin and frail.

Because he didn't wear shoes, and he walked everywhere, he developed an impressively thick set of calluses on the soles of his feet.

All-in-all, he was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

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A deaf couple are on a road trip.

A deaf couple are on a road trip.

My deaf professor told me this joke (in sign language) in college:

A deaf couple are on a road trip. The wife signs to the husband that she is tired, and they should look for a motel for the night. The husband pulls over into the next motel, and they reserve a room.

In the middle of the night, the husband wakes up with a splitting headache. He signs to his wife his wife if they have any ibuprofen. The wife groggily replies to check the glove compartment in the car.

The man, half asleep, gets out of bed, walks out to the car, and finds the pills in the glove compartment.

He gets out of the car to make his way back to the room, but immediately forgets which room is his. So he gets back into the car and SLAMS on the horn and holds it.

Little by little, every room in the motel turns on their light. All but one. That's his room!

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My uncle's wife...

My uncle's wife...

My uncle's wife used to stay awake at night planning how to take the law into her own hands.

She was my vigilauntie.

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More jokes about: #Awake #Gil
A house of cards is really fragile.

A house of cards is really fragile.

One blow from a little kid and it all comes tumbling down

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More jokes about: #House #Kid #Cards #Gil
After a particularly brutal battle with his fellow Avengers, Thor decides to relax at a local watering hole....

After a particularly brutal battle with his fellow Avengers, Thor decides to relax at a local watering hole....

He drinks and drinks, barrels of beer and mead. After some time, he hits it off with a cute local girl and takes her back to Avengers Tower to show her his little Mjolnir.

He wakes in the morning, satisfied, and looks at the girl sleeping next to him. The poor thing is battered, with a busted lip and bruises all over her face and body. He gently shakes her awake and asks, "Are you okay?"

"Oh my god," she says groggily. "Hon, you were great, but a little rough.'

"Well, I *am* Thor!" says the God of Thunder.

***"YOU'RE*** Thor!" exclaims the girl, "I'm tho Thor i can barely thpeak!"

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More jokes about: #Barrels #Relax #Gil
Mahatma Gandhi wanted to be a babysitter...

Mahatma Gandhi wanted to be a babysitter...

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

Nevertheless, in his final years he decided that he wanted to be a babysitter and sent an application to the Babysitter University. Unfortunately they rejected him, stating that they could not accept an applicant that was "A super calloused fragile mystic vexed with halitosis".

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One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats...".

One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself "The Man of Bats...".

It was his Nana's Nana's Nana's Nana's Batman.

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More jokes about: #Grandmother #Batman #Gil
My asshole twin brother just called me from prison.

My asshole twin brother just called me from prison.

He said: "Gil... remember how we used to finish each other's sentences?"

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More jokes about: #Twin #Called
Mahatma Ghandi walked thousands of miles with bare feet...

Mahatma Ghandi walked thousands of miles with bare feet...

This caused him to develop an impressive set of callouses.

He also are very little, which made him rather frail, and due to this strange diet, suffered from bad breath.

All told, he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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More jokes about: #Diet #Frail #Gil #Mahatma #Caused
What's the difference between Kylie Jenner and an egg?.

What's the difference between Kylie Jenner and an egg?.

One is just a fragile shell, containing contents so shallow, they hardly give any sustenance to those who want it. And if dropped, or tossed away, can be easily replaced by bunch of others, exactly like them.

And the other is an egg.

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More jokes about: #Shell #Gil #Sustenance