Best 142 Gray Jokes and Puns

When a White guy is...

When a White guy is...

Scared- He gets even whiter

Cold- He turns Blue

Angry-He turns Red

Stoned- Gray duh

Sick- He turns Green

When a Black guy is...

Scared- He stays Black

Cold- He stays Black

Angry- He stays Black

Stoned- He stays Black

Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored

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More jokes about: #Funny #Racial
Playing I spy with my dad when I was younger:

Playing I spy with my dad when I was younger:

Dad: I spy something gray.

Little sister: Your hair!

Dad: I spy something adopted!

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An old timer was sitting in his rocking chair on his front portch when a kid comes walking by with something in his hands.

An old timer was sitting in his rocking chair on his front portch when a kid comes walking by with something in his hands.

The old timer asks the kid, "Hey son. Whatcha got there?"

The kid replies, "I got me some chicken wire. I'm gonna catch me some chickens."

The old timer responds, "Oh son, you can't catch no chickens with chicken wire."

A short time later the old timer sees the kid come back with a bunch of flapping chickens all caught up in the chicken wire.

"Well, I'll be...'" says the old timer scratching his head.

The next day the kid comes walking past the old timer. This time he has something round and gray in his hands.

The old timer shouts out to the kid, "Hey kid, whatcha got in your hands this time?"

The kid responds, "I got me some duct tape. I'm gonna catch me some ducks."

The old timer laughs, "Son, you can't catch no ducks using duct tape."

A short time later the kid comes back with a bunch of ducks caught-up and quacking in the duct tape."

The old man cannot believe his eyes.

The next day the kid comes walking past the old timer, again with something in hs hands.

The old timer shouts out to the kid, "Hey kid, whatcha got in your hands today?"

The kid shouts back to the old timer, "I got me some pussy willow."

The old timer shouts out, "Hold on son...while I get my hat!"

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More jokes about: #Funny #Redneck
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"

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More jokes about: #Popular jokes
Yo momma is so old her pubic hairs are 50 Shades Of Gray.

Yo momma is so old her pubic hairs are 50 Shades Of Gray.

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More jokes about: #Funny #Yo #Momma
*stops writing book*

*stops writing book*

Is the color spelled grey or gray?

Fuck it

*continues writing* "The sky was light bIack, it had been raining all day"

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Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

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More jokes about: #Funny #One #Liner
A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don't serve colored people .

A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don't serve colored people .

The man replies, I don't understand why you white people call us colored because :

When I born, I black.

When I grow up, I black.

When I go in sun, I black.

When I cold, I black.

When I scared, I black.

When I sick, I black.

And when I die, I still black.

You white folks:

When you born, you pink.

When you grow up, you white.

When you go in sun, you red.

When you cold, you blue.

When you scared, you yellow.

When you sick, you green.

When you bruised, you purple.

And when you die, you gray.

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When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye

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More jokes about: #Funny #One #Liner
Q: What's gray and comes in pints?.

Q: What's gray and comes in pints?.

A: An elephant.

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More jokes about: #Gray
Why parents have gray hair ..

why parents have gray hair ..

pened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

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More jokes about: #Gray #Hair
How do you spell the color that is an equal mix of white and black?.

How do you spell the color that is an equal mix of white and black?.

USA: GrayBritain: GreyCanada: Grehy

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More jokes about: #Gray #Mix
I like to spoil the plot of Peter Pan for people.

I like to spoil the plot of Peter Pan for people.

Never gets old.

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A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site. "This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare.""So why are we here then," the guy a... read more

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50 Shades.

50 Shades.

He slowly but firmly grabs my throat. I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...'- 50 Shades of Macy Gray.

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A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house.

A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house.

Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard."I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst C... read more

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More jokes about: #Gray #Taut #Castration #Plummet
An old man goes to apply for social security.

An old man goes to apply for social security.

An old man goes to apply for social security. The woman at the counter asks for his ID to confirm his age. The old man realizes that he has left it at home, so he takes off his shirt, revealing a chest full of silver hair and says "See this."

The woman replies "Well to have that much gray hair you must surely be old enough, application approved."

Elated the old man returns home and tells his wife what has occurred.

The wife looks at him and says "You should have dropped your pants, they would have given you disability also."

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More jokes about: #Approved
A man rubbed a genie lamp.

A man rubbed a genie lamp.

>The next morning. Upon going outside to the water closet he had to do a double take for his mind couldn't comprehend. Sure enough, he had the biggest cock with girth to match it's size. He also checked his ass and what beauty is was. Strong and toned. The finest he has ever seen. All his friends were in shock from hearing the news. Word spread to all respected professionals in their field they had to see in person. The professionals foamed in their mouths because nothing has been recorded of a great gift bestowed to humanity. Just before the night came the softest pussy arrived at his door. It was a night for the man to remember. Three wishes the genie gave as desired.

It was a hard decision after a few days thinking but it was well worth the man's time for it was gift more than asked. He auctioned his cock and ass to the highest bidder of the land. The auction winners were in delight to report the ass they bought was the best so much it out classed a team of Clydesdale. The cock produced the best chicks to the farmers delight.

The pussy was soft and beautiful. Giving him comfort every night. A two toned neko of a charcoal gray color. Playful too especially with scritches.

Ojiisan says you a sick person to be thinking what this joke was about. Especially with that pussy.

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More jokes about: #Comprehend
What's grey and comes in ounces?.

What's gray and comes in liters?.

An elephant.

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More jokes about: #Grey #Pint #Ounce #Quart #Ounces #Liters
A woman is looking at herself in the mirror.

A woman is looking at herself in the mirror.

"Ugh I look so old! My skin is sagging, my hair is turning gray, I've got crows feet..."Her husband says, "well, at least your eyesight is intact."

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More jokes about: #Sag #Sagging