Best 235 Grill Jokes and Puns

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big.

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"

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A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."

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So while a wife was contributing to the preparation of dinner inside she was feeling a bit self conscious about her but getting larger.

So while a wife was contributing to the preparation of dinner inside she was feeling a bit self conscious about her but getting larger. In an attempt to get some support she goes out to her husband who was cooking on the bbq and says, "honey do you think my ass is big?". He looks up and then back at his grilling and just chuckles and says, " big! Its almost as big as this bbq." Totally hurt she goes back inside. After dinner and kids are in bed, the husband is feeling frisky and tries to rub up on momma. She of course gives him the cold shoulder due to his previous remarks. He scratches his head and attempts to rub up on her some more and she again gives him more cold shoulder. Finally he says, "What gives?". She rolls over and says to him, "What makes you think I am going to fire up this big ol' bbq for just one little weenie?"

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Restaurant Special Joke

John was starving!! He was stuck in a small hick town, lost and hungry. He was happy when he saw a small restaurant coming up on his right. John quickly pulled over, parked his car, and walked inside.

John noticed a blackboard with a sign written in yellow chalk, “Today’s Special: Vegetable Soup with Fried Chicken and Grilled Vegetables.”

“I’ll take the special”, said John to the waiter when he came to take his order.

A few minutes after receiving his order John called over the waiter, he was fuming mad. “IS THIS THE SPECIAL!? It says vegetable soup, BUT THERE ARE NO VEGETABLES! It says grilled vegetables, BUT THEY AREN’T GRILLED THEY ARE BAKED!?  And it says fried chicken, AND THE CHICKEN ISN’T FRIED!?

The waiter was not used to city folks and their attitudes and frankly he was not going to put up with this behavior. “My dear man,” said the waiter looking down at John over his glasses, “that is what makes it so special!!!”

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More jokes about: #Food #Long
"Did I invite you to my barbeque?"

"Did I invite you to my barbeque?"

"No"

"Then why you all up In my grill?"

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Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman?

Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?

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A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar...

and make me a grilled cheese"

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A McDonald's grill operator starts kicking off about being underpaid.

A McDonald's grill operator starts kicking off about being underpaid.

He begins to beat the shit out of the other staff. The police arrive and he kicks their ass. The FBI turn up and he whips their butt too. The CIA, the military, even the U.S. Navy SEALs can't stop the guy. The manager thinks for a moment, then pushes another grill operator into the fray who ... read more

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More jokes about: #Grill #Fryer
Restaurant Order.

Restaurant Order.

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.

"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm."

"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."

The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"

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He only grills, so I was surprised when he made lasagna. I should've known.

He only grills, so I was surprised when he made lasagna. I should've known.

So my dad made dinner the other night and I was impressed.

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The new supermarket.

The new supermarket.

A new supermarket just opened up nearby.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and

smell fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is

the scent of freshly mowed hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled

steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and

cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon

and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked

bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore, though.

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A propane supply store isn't shy about revealing where its heart lies: Tank heaven for little grills.

A propane supply store isn't shy about revealing where its heart lies: Tank heaven for little grills.

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Everyone be careful with your grills this 4th.

Everyone be careful with your grills this 4th.

I wouldn't want anyone to make a mis-steak

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One day when I was young, I watched my father grill burgers.

One day when I was young, I watched my father grill burgers.

When they were done he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger. He then left and never came back.

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My favorite Lent joke.

My favorite Lent joke.

An atheist named John lived in a small Christian village. During lent on every Friday he would grill a deer and the whole village could smell it. After a few years the village elders got together and said this has to stop and they need to convert John.The elders eventually convince ... read more

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How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?.

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?.

It's a little meteor.

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For sale: George Foreman grill and a Muhammad Ali dvd.

For sale: George Foreman grill and a Muhammad Ali dvd.

Both boxed

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My favorite Lent joke (as told to me by an Episcopal reverend).

My favorite Lent joke (as told to me by an Episcopal reverend).

A Protestant moves into a Catholic neighborhood. It's a pretty open-minded and welcoming community, and everyone gets along great.The first time an issue presents itself is when Lent rolls around. During Lent, the Catholics in the neighborhood all swear off red meat. Every day at lunch, h... read more

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20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs.

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs.

Please, do not let Kevin Bacon die.

Source: The Bluegrass Grill and Bakery in Charlottesville, VA.

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Why doesn’t Louis C.K. grill by himself?

Why doesn’t Louis C.K. grill by himself?.

Because he likes it when people watch him pull his pork.

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More jokes about: #Grill #K