The Case of St. Peter v. Lucifer

The Case of St. Peter v. Lucifer.

St. Peter gets up one day and goes out the gates of heaven, to see the gates of hell have moved forward by a large distance. According to the agreement between heaven and hell, they must each come to an agreement anytime there is an expansion. He walks down to the gates, and meets the devil, sayin... read more

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Bill Gates dies and goes to see St Peter.

Bill Gates dies and goes to see St Peter.

St Peter reviews his life and says to him: "Welcome Mr Gates; you've lived an extraordinary life so we would actually like to offer you the choice between Heaven and Hell"Bill replies: "What are my options?"St Peter takes him to two computers. The first is Hell. It's a deserted sandy... read more

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BILL GATES IN HELL.

BILL GATES IN HELL.

er shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.

Bill chooses Hell.

About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.

Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"

St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."

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Appropriate for Election Season.

Appropriate for Election Season.

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. "Ah," says St. Peter, "then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the... read more

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The Pagan.

The Pagan.

A Pagan died and went to Heaven. St. Peter met him at the gate. "You can't come in here," St. Peter said. The Pagan asked why... "You're Pagan ... I'm sorry", St. Peter replied. "But Hell isn't so bad. Your friends are there, and they say it's good." The Pagan was depressed, ... read more

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A man arrives at the gates of heaven.

A man arrives at the gates of heaven.

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go ... read more

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A computer salesman dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

A computer salesman dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells the salesman that he can choose between heaven and hell. First he shows the man heaven, where people in white robes play harps and float around. Dull, says the salesman. Next, St. Peter shows him hell: toga parties, excellent food and wine, and everyone looking as though he's having a wonderful time.I'll take hell, he says. He enters the gates of hell and is immediately set upon by a dozen demons who poke him with pitchforks. Hey, the salesman demands as Satan walks past, what happened to the party I saw going on? Ah, Satan replies. You must have seen our demo.

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