Jonny was in class when he realized he needed to go to the bathroom

Jonny was in class when he realized he needed to go to the bathroom.

So he asked his teacher if he could go.Teacher: Okay but first you have to sing the abc'sJonny: But I really have to go!Teacher: Then sing the abc'sJonny: Okay, \*sings\* "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z" allright I did itTeacher: Not so fast... read more

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Teacher asks little Jonny "how long has your Dad been working at his company".

Teacher asks little Jonny "how long has your Dad been working at his company".

Little Jonny replies "ever since they threatened to fire him"

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Alphabet Game.

Alphabet Game.

br>"Alligator"

"Very good Suzie. Ok class, how about B?"

Little Jonny's hand goes up again. The teacher thinks to herself: I'm not going to pick Jonny, he'll just say 'bitch'.

"Patrick?"

"Banana"

"Very good Patrick. Ok class, C?"

Little Jonny's hand goes up with a lot of enthusiasm. The teacher thinks: no way, he'll just say that awful c-word.

"Jill?"

"Caterpillar"

"Amazing! Good word Jill"

This goes on. Each letter, Little Jonny's hand goes up and the teacher thinks of an offensive word that Jonny will say. Finally:

"Alright class, R"

Little Jonny's hand goes up. This time, the teacher struggles to find a bad word starting with R. She gives in.

"Jonny?"

"Rats"

"Wow, very good Jon.."

"Big fucking rats with 10 inch dicks!"

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Little Jonny is having a difficult time with the math lesson so...

Little Jonny is having a difficult time with the math lesson so...

The teacher, Miss Cooper decides to use a situation that little Jonny can relate to. She knows little Jonny likes to hunt birds so she asks little Jonny "if there are if 5 birds on a wooden fence and you shoot one how many are left"? Little Jonny replies "none" once you shoot one the other birds fly... read more

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Little Jonny thought he was the only one who kept secrets, so he asked his teacher.

Little Jonny thought he was the only one who kept secrets, so he asked his teacher. She said that everyone, even adults had secrets. So Little Jonny went up to his mom and told her he knew here secret, she gave him 20$ and told him not to tell his father. So then Little Jonny went up to his dad, and told him he knew his secret, his dad paid him 50$ and told him not to tell his mother. Little Jonny loving this, he's making tons of money, then he goes outside. The first person he sees is the mailman, Little Jonny says I know your secret. Then the mailman says really!? Come here son!

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Little Jonny and Uncle Ted.

Little Jonny and Uncle Ted.

> "My grandfather used to be raise chickens. He sold a bunch of unhatched eggs as chickens but most of them didn't hatch and he lost a lot of money," Suzzy began. The teacher nodded, "and what is the morale of the story?" "Don't count your chickens before they hatch!" replied Suzzy.

The teacher asked for another example, and after sifting through the raised hands, came to call on Timothy. "Well my Dad was also a chicken farmer, except he sold a bunch of eggs to the grocery store. Dad loaded all the eggs up into a big box, but on the way to the store he hit a big bump and damaged the box. Most of the eggs broke and he lost a pile of money." Again the teacher asked, "What's the morale of the story?" before Timothy said, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Ok, we have time for one more story, why don't you go ahead Jonny?" The teacher beckoned to Jonny. Jonny began, "Well, my Uncle Ted was a fighter pilot in the Vietnam war. He was on a patrol flight deep in enemy territory when he got shot down. He grabbed everything he could, which included a machete, a machine gun, and a six pack of beer before ejecting." The classroom was mesmerized, although the teacher began to look uncomfortable. Jonny continued, "As he was parachuting down, he chugged the six pack. When he landed he was surrounded by a hundred Vietnamese soldiers. He killed the first seventy with the machine gun, twenty with the machete and the last ten with his bare hands!" The teacher choked out, "That's a terrible story!" before Jonny replied, "Yeah, well the morale of the story is: You don't fuck with my Uncle Ted when he's drunk."

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A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students.

A teacher is about to sing a song he made for his students.

He then started:

-Joe, kiss my toe! Ferdinand, kiss my hand!

He abruptly stops singing and asks:

Why are you leaving the classroom, Patrick?

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