Cop performs a sobriety check

Cop performs a sobriety check.

Cop: "say your abc's backwards for me please."Suspect: "abc's? Backwards? Officer I couldn't do that if I was sober."*brief pause*Suspect: "shit."

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A cop sees a dancing suspect.

A cop sees a dancing suspect.

Cop: Suspect is engaging in high-profile break-dancing in the main square

Radio: Copy that

Cop: I've had a couple breakdance lessons but I'm no way as good as him sir

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So there is a cop hanging out across the street of an Irish pub near closing time...

So there is a cop hanging out across the street of an Irish pub near closing time...

The cop notices a man stumble out of the bar, struggle to open his car and is obviously intoxicated. The man makes it out of the parking lot and is pulled over by the cop immediately.

The cop makes him get out and do all the sobriety tests. He passes with flying colors. He then breathelizes the man and he blows perfect zeros.

The cop, now confused, asks why he is 100% sober and appeared to be drunk walking out of the pub. The man responds "I wasn't drinking tonight because I'm the DD". The cop, even more confused responds, "but you aren't driving anyone home". The man replies "Yeah I know. I'm the Designated Decoy".

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Me: It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up.

Me: It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up.

Cop: That's not how sobriety tests work.

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Interrogation...

Interrogation...

Suspect: I ain't talking

Cop: [sharpens knife] we have other ways of making people talk [cuts a piece of cake]

Suspect: can I have some

Cop: cake is for the talkers

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I was arrested for assault with a chicken.

I was arrested for assault with a chicken.

The cops suspected foul play.

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A cop pulls over a drunk man..

A cop pulls over a drunk man..

A police officer pulls over a man who he thinks is drunk.. he walks up to the mans car. "Hello sir may I see license and registration"? Asks the cop. So the man hands him his license and registration.

The cop comes back a minute later and asks the man to step out of the car. "Ok sir I'm gonna perform some field sobriety tests on you" The cop says.

"Field Sobriety tests"? The man asks "But I didnt even study"!

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More jokes about: #Registration