Ninety-five year old virgin

Ninety-five year old virgin.

Ninety-five year old Caroline died a virgin. Her last request stated that her headstone should read: "Here lies Caroline, born a virgin, died a virgin" The stone-cutter had a busy day, and made a shorter version, reading: "Caroline, returned unopened"

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More jokes about: #U #Headstone #Version #Cutter

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An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone...

An Old Woman Commissions a Tombstone...

... she asks the carvers to write "born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin."It wouldn't fit on the face, so they just wrote "Returned unopened."

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A woman lying on her death bed wanted all to know she was a virgin....

A woman lying on her death bed wanted all to know she was a virgin....

She asked that her headstone would forever read:

'Born a virgin, lived a virgin and died a virgin'.

When the stonemason was making her headstone, he ran out of space so just carved:

'Returned unopened'.

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In a tiny village lived an old maid.

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."

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Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

The Gravity of this Situation.

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No one dies a virgin.

No one dies a virgin.

Because life screws everyone.

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No chicken dies a virgin

No chicken dies a virgin

they get laid at birth *slaps knee*

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