My Wife asked me why do I always emphasize my H's...

My Wife asked me why do I always emphasize my H's....

I told her because I don't like DougNuts.

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I told my wife I was tired of her always disagreeing with me.

I told my wife I was tired of her always disagreeing with me.

She said, "I don't always disagree with you."

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More jokes about: #Disagree
My friend H+ is very reactive...

My friend H+ is very reactive...

I always have to keep an ion him!

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I always think I'm such a failure. The other day my wife told me to change the light bulb.

I always think I'm such a failure. The other day my wife told me to change the light bulb.

But I screwed it up.

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I told my wife to spend the evening polishing my medieval battle uniform, whilst I went out to the pub.

I told my wife to spend the evening polishing my medieval battle uniform, whilst I went out to the pub.

She's always going on about wanting a night in, shining armour.

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More jokes about: #Shining #Polishing
One of my friends asked why my wife is always with me everywhere I go!.

One of my friends asked why my wife is always with me everywhere I go!.

I told him because she is so ugly I don't want to kiss her goodbye.

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More jokes about: #Goodbye
I don't always kiss my wife goodbye when I leave the house...

I don't always kiss my wife goodbye when I leave the house...

But I always kiss my house goodbye when I leave my wife!

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More jokes about: #Goodbye