Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

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Donald Trump is sitting at the bar (I changed the title, rest is the same).

Donald Trump is sitting at the bar (I changed the title, rest is the same).

m a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

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More jokes about: #Stubbed
A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a giant orange head. Sensing the weird looks he was getting, the 2nd guy says "I'm guessing you are wondering what happened? Well, it's a long story..."

A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a giant orange head. Sensing the weird looks he was getting, the 2nd guy says "I'm guessing you are wondering what happened? Well, it's a long story...".

"For my second wish I asked for World Peace!"

“Yes! I saw it on the news! That's crazy! What was your last wish?“

"For my third and final wish I asked the genie for a giant orange head - duh!"

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More jokes about: #Hunger
A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a giant orange head. Sensing the weird looks he was getting, the 2nd guy says "I'm guessing you are wondering what happened? Well, it's a long story..."

A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a giant orange head. Sensing the weird looks he was getting, the 2nd guy says "I'm guessing you are wondering what happened? Well, it's a long story...".

"But one day I was walking on the beach and I tripped over a bottle and woke up a genie who said he would grant me three wishes..."

"That's amazing! What happened?

Well for my first wish I asked for an end to world hunger.

"Wow! That's really generous of you! What else did you wish for?"

"For my second wish I asked for World Peace!"

Yes! I saw it on the news! That's crazy! What was your last wish?

"For my third and final wish I asked the genie for a giant orange head - duh!"

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More jokes about: #Guessing
There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head.

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head.

o talk to me about it.”

Determined to find out why he has a fruit where his head should be he casually walks over and asks,

“Excuse me sir but I am just dying to know what happened to your head?!”

“Why what happened to it?”

“Well... its an orange!”

“Oh yes, it’s a long story and I would rather not get into it now if you don’t mind.”

This man refused however, to take no for an answer. Still determined he bought the man a drink and once again politely requested he tell the long story.

The orange-headed man, now with an extra drink, grudgingly accepts to tell the tale.

“So I was walking down the boardwalk with my wife at the time and we decided to go into this lamp shop that has since gone out of business. I stumble upon this dusty old one that caught my eye and brushed off the coat of dust. To my surprise a big ol’ genie popped out and offered me three wishes!”

Knowing that genies had reputation for being tricky when granting wishes, the man was eager to find out what wish had gotten turned around to make this man have an orange for a head.

“So what was your first wish?” The man asks.

“My first wish was to be the wealthiest man in the world.”

“Well congratulations, you should be buying me the drinks! What was your second wish?”

“My second wish was to have every woman to fall madly in love with me. My wife has since divorced me due to all of my affairs.”

“That seems to come in handy now that you have an orange for a head. And the third?”

The orange-headed man goes silent for a minute.

“Well? What was the wish sir, I am dying to know!”

“My third and final wish... was to have an orange for a head.”

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More jokes about: #Boardwalk
The man with the orange head.

The man with the orange head.

years ago, when i was walking through a desert, i came across this lamp. I rubbed it, jokingly, when an actual genie popped out. The genie informed me i had three wishes, and to use them wisely." The man is staring in disbeliefe at this point..."go on"

"My first wish was what anyone else would wish for, unlimited wealth. I'm talking suitcases full of money, a mansion, nice car and i never want to have to work again." The genie snapped his fingers, and suitcases upon suitcases of money surround him. "What shall be your second wish?" the genie asked in which the man repled, " i want a hot woman in my life, who is absolutly perfect. I'm talking stunning, big boobs, loves sport and everything that i love. I'd want her to share my new wealth with me and travel the world together." The genie then snaps his fingers, which a beautiful woman magically appeared out of nowhere. The man at the bar, staring at him in disbeliefe yet completly amazed, asked him what his 3rd and final wish was? in which he replied, "an orange for a head"

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More jokes about: #Unlimited
A guy walks into a bar. Half of his head is a giant orange.

A guy walks into a bar. Half of his head is a giant orange.

r another, then begins his story: "When I was a young man I traveled the world: Egypt, China, Arabia, everywhere. One day I found a magic lamp and a genie granted me 3 wishes.

'Really?' I said.

'Anything?' 'Anything,' said the genie. 'Okay,' I said.

'First wish... I wish I had a wallet that always had a thousand dollars in it.' 'Granted,' said the genie."

"Wait, wait," interrupts the bartender. "You don't expect me to believe that?" "Are you kidding? My head's a fucking orange!" snaps the man with the orange head. But just to prove it, he pulls out a worn wallet and slaps ten $100 notes on the bar. The bartender shuts up and the guy with the orange head continues.

"For my second wish, I asked to be irresistible to women."

"Bullshit," says the bartender. The guy looks across the bar at a beautiful woman he's never met and says, "Hey, baby, want to go home with me tonight?" The woman squeals with delight, nods, rushes over, buys him a drink, and hangs off him lovingly. She doesn't even seem to notice that half of his head is a piece of fruit. Awed, the bartender pours another round, and asks in a hushed voice, "So... your face... your head... the third wish?" The man nods and downs another shot of whiskey. "What happened?" whispered the bartender, leaning forward. "For my third wish..." whispers the man. "...I wished... that half of my head... were a giant orange."

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More jokes about: #Hush #Half #Worn