Girlfriend: Hey, let's go to the zoo
Boy: But babe, I'm not ready to meet your family yet
Introducing my girlfriend to my family...
My girlfriend is EmilyMe: Hi, this is my girlfriend emilyEmily: Hello, nice to meet youWife: What the fuck...
I took my girlfriend home to meet the family.
My wife went fucking ballistic
I introduced my girlfriend to the family.
Me: hello everyone, meet JasmineJasmine: HiWife: what the fuck
I brung my girlfriend home to meet the family.
You shoulda seen the look on my wife's face!
My girlfriend and I decided we aren't ready for a baby yet, so I double-bagged it.
It worked; babies cannot breath through two layers of plastic shopping bag.
Boy sent a text to her girlfriend - Ready for tonight, Babe? You're going to use that mouth so hard.
Reply: I am Amy's father, and what is she going to do with her mouth?Boy: Oh, she didn't tell you?Father: What?Boy: It's Karaoke night!