My uncle's wife..

My uncle's wife...

My uncle's wife used to stay awake at night planning how to take the law into her own hands.

She was my vigilauntie.

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More jokes about: #Awake #Gil

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My wife has started doing this really odd thing during sex.

My wife has started doing this really odd thing during sex.

She stays awake.

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More jokes about: #Awake
My wife asked me if she was the only one I had slept with and I said yes.

My wife asked me if she was the only one I had slept with and I said yes.

I stayed awake the whole night with the rest of them.

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More jokes about: #Awake
A conversation between my mother and my wife.

A conversation between my mother and my wife.

Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?

Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...

Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?

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More jokes about: #Conversation #Stay #Staying
My mom said if I stayed up late then she'd bash my head against my keyboard again.

My mom said if I stayed up late then she'd bash my head against my keyboard again.

I'm old enough to stay awake for as long as I damn pleahfjjsjjchfigjbrbrje d ffhfhfnfbfbrbrbrdjdjfufhfhdhdbdbrvtjtkykumhkfieuegdgajks38rjbfbfbdejjejekdfnjf

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More jokes about: #Keyboard #Bash
I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me.

I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me.

But has just never been awake long enough to carry them out.

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More jokes about: #Suspect
What's the difference between a night watchman and a butcher?.

What's the difference between a night watchman and a butcher?.

One stays awake, the other weighs a steak.

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More jokes about: #Watchman