This guy said to me, "Your belly is getting big.. what are you going to do when you look down and you can't see your dick anymore?"

This guy said to me, "Your belly is getting big... what are you going to do when you look down and you can't see your dick anymore?" So I said to him, "I'll tell your wife to get her head out of the way."

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There was a story on the news about a kid who got his dick stuck in a water bottle.

There was a story on the news about a kid who got his dick stuck in a water bottle.

Hearing this, my girlfriend said, "I don't understand what all the fuss is about, it can't be that hard to get your dick out of a water bottle. "So I answered, "That's why you have to wait until it isn't hard anymore."

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Fat guy: Hey faggot!

Fat guy: Hey faggot!

Me: You should rub your belly for good luck, chuck! Because when somebody said launch, you thought they said lunch!

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What do you get when you put your dick in a sandwich maker?.

what do you get when you put your dick in a sandwich maker?.

a paninis

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"Hi, I'm Jane" she said. "I'm Christopher" I replied "but everyone calls me Dick for short". "How do you get Dick from Christopher?" she asked.

"Hi, I'm Jane" she said. "I'm Christopher" I replied "but everyone calls me Dick for short". "How do you get Dick from Christopher?" she asked.

"You ask nicely" I said.

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Friend: You got no dick kid!

Friend: You got no dick kid!

Me: Thats not what your mom said last night!

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So, i wanted to know what my weight was.

So, i wanted to know what my weight was.

'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said.

But how am i supposed to see the numbers?

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