Cop pulls over a man

Cop pulls over a man

"Sir id like you to take this breathalyzer test"

Man: " I cant, i have asthma i might have an attack "

Cop: " then i need to take a blood sample "

Man: " No sir, im a hemophiliac, i might bleed to death "

Cop: " Ok, ill need a pee sample "

Man: " I cant do that either officer, im a diabetic, i might get low blood sugar "

Cop: " Fine, just walk this line "

Man: " I cant "

Cop: " Why? "

Man: " Cause im drunk "

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Yo mamas so stupid i cant post cause im a nigga f*ck you

yo mamas so stupid i cant post cause im a nigga f*ck you

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My parents think im a failure...

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I cant wait to show them the A i got on my hepatitis test

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Slut comes by and starts shit

slut comes by and starts shit

"Oh im sorry, i cant hear you with that dick in your mouth".

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Patient : The composite you put in my teeth were too soft. I need something harder

Patient : The composite you put in my teeth were too soft. I need something harder.

Dentist : Im sorry I cant do thatPatient : What? Why not?Dentist : I just cant. No hard fillings.

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You: Dad I just had sex!

you: Dad I just had sex!

Dad: Really? Come sit down

you: I cant, my but hurts!

Dad:...

IM NOT A HOMO, JUST A FUNNY JOKE

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An elderly, married couple walks into a hospital.

An elderly, married couple walks into a hospital.

The doctor says to the old man, 'I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample.'

The old man says, 'What?' So the doctor says it again. Once again the deaf old codger says, What?'

So the doctor yells it: 'I NEED A URINE SAMPLE A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!'

With that the old man's wife turns to her doddery husband and says, 'He needs a pair of your underwear'.

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