So my grandpa was out in the porch having a smoke [long]

So my grandpa was out in the porch having a smoke [long].

Me: can I have one of those? Gramps: I don’t know, can your dick touch your asshole? Me: uh, noGramps: well then you’re not a man, the answer is no(Later that day while Gramps is having a beer)Me: hey can I have one of those? Gramps: I don’t know, can ... read more

A kid goes to stay at his grandparents house for a weekend.

On the first night, the kid and his grandad are sitting in the garage, Gramps is having a smoke. Kid says, "hey, can I get a puff?" Gramps says, "well. Does your dick touch your asshole?" Kid says, "no... What the hell??" Gramps says "well you can't have a puff of my cigar.Next day, kid and ... read more

Shout out to Gramps.

It's the only way he can hear you

Friend: You have something on your chin. No, the third one down.

Me: Why don’t you wipe it off for me and put it in one of those bags under your eyes?

A kid goes to stay at his grandparents house for a weekend.

Grandpa are sitting in the living room, Gramps is having a beer. Kid says "hey, let me get a sip." Gramps, "well... Does your dick touch your asshole?" Kid says, "dude no..." Gramps says, "well, then you can't have a sip of my beer".

Last day, kid and Gramps are sitting on the porch. Grandma comes out with a plate of some cookies, and hands them to the kid.

Grampa says, "hey, let me get one of them cookies." Kid says, "ha! Well, does ya dick touch your asshole??" Grampa says, "yes sir it does!" Kid says, "well go fuck yourself, these are my cookies!"

What is the most popular bank in Wales?.

Welsh Fargo...

...gramps made me do it.

I don’t like country music but I’m not going to say why because...

I don’t want to denigrate those who do, and for those who do listen to country music, denigrate means put down