Mental health hotline

Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.If you suffer from paranoid schizoph... read more

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Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependant, have someone press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5,6. If you are paranoid, we know which one you want.

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Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.... read more

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More jokes about: #Hello
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline..

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline..

If you are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want..stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are a nymphomaniac please stop doing that with the phone..

If you are schizophrenic listen carefully - a small voice will tell you which button to press.

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The answering protocol for the psychiatric hotline.

The answering protocol for the psychiatric hotline.

Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No-one will answer.

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The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline.

The one about the Pakistani Mental Health Hotline.

*Hotline*: Pakistani Mental Health Hotline, how can I help you?

*Caller*: My life sucks, I see no way out.

*Hotline*: Do not worry, we are here to help you.

*Caller*: I'm feeling suicidal. What should I do?

*Hotline*: How close are you to India?

*Caller*: Don't know exactly, maybe 400km.

*Hotline*: So can you drive a truck?

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More jokes about: #Hotline #Pakistan #Suicidal
Mental health hotline.

Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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