Two southern wives were sitting on their porch sipping brandy

Two southern wives were sitting on their porch sipping brandy.

One woman says to the other ‘my husband bought me this beautiful ring’ as she flashed a diamond ring. The other replied in a breathy voice ‘ain’t that niiceee’. The first woman added ‘he also bought me this lovely dress I’m wearing today’. The other replied in the same breathy voice ... read more

Mood ring.

Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day.

When she's in a good mood it turns green.

When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead.

Two guys sitting in a bar decide to tell each other what they bought their wives for xmas. 1st guy: I bought my wife a necklace and a diamond ring that way if she hates the necklace she can still wear the ring. 2nd guy: I bought my wife an imported gold ornament and a car that way if she doesn't like the ornament she still has the car. A drunk guy sitting next to them says "I bought my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator... that way if she doesn't like the t-shirt she can go fock herself

A married woman has a dream on the night before her anniversary.

A married woman has a dream on the night before her anniversary. She dreams that her husband bought her a gift box.Inside that box was another box.Inside that box was another box.Inside that box was another box.And inside the fourth box was a glistening diamond ring.... read more

My girlfriend told me that if I like it then I should put a ring on it.

I bought her the Nuvaring

A blonde rings up an airline and asks: "How long are your flights from America to England?".

The woman on the other end of the phone replies: "Just a minute". The blonde thanks her and hangs up the phone.

​

I bought my wife a mood ring..

when she is in a good mood it turns blue. When she is in a bad mood it turns red. Not the ring, the knot on the side of my head after she punches me repeatedly in the face.