Three old men are sitting on a porch relaxing..

Three old men are sitting on a porch relaxing...

The first old man complains about having trouble moving his bowels. The second old ma complains about having trouble urinating. The third old man says, “every morning at 7am I relieve myself, then at 7:15 I take a huge dump. The other two men look at him and say what’s wrong... read more

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Why did the coach take Paul Pierce out of the game?.

Why did the coach take Paul Pierce out of the game?.

He was in bowel trouble.

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I like my coffee how I like my men.

I like my coffee how I like my men.

Irritating my bowels.

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Three Old Men.

Three Old Men.

says: "You think you have problems. I'm 80 years old. Every morning at 8:00, I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

Finally the third old man speaks up: "Fellas, I'm 90 years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 sharp I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."

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Three Old Men are Sitting on a Park Bench.

Three Old Men are Sitting on a Park Bench.

think YOU have it bad? Every morning I wake up at 9 o'clock, I go to the restroom and I try to make a bowel movement, and no matter how hard I strain and push, nothing ever comes out."

And then the third one says:

"You think YOU TWO have it bad? Oh my god. Every morning at 8 o'clock, I take a big piss and a big shit."

The first two old men look at each other in a puzzled manner. They look at him and ask:

"What are YOU complaining for? How could that possibly be bad?"

The third old man explains:

"I don't wake up until 10."

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"The actor who plays the villain in No Country For old Men was causing trouble in my bar last night."

"The actor who plays the villain in No Country For old Men was causing trouble in my bar last night.".

"Javier Bardem?"

"No, but I will if he does it again."

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A man is in an emergency room complaining of severe stomach pains and bowel trouble. The attending physician advises that the patient will need a rectal exam. The doctor positions the patient on the bed on his side and puts on a latex glove...

A man is in an emergency room complaining of severe stomach pains and bowel trouble. The attending physician advises that the patient will need a rectal exam. The doctor positions the patient on the bed on his side and puts on a latex glove...

As he lubes up his glove, he says, "Don't get excited and move too much like last time, Daniel."The patient says, "My name isn't Daniel."The doctor says, "Mine is."

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