Two farmers are sitting on a porch..

Two farmers are sitting on a porch...

...drinking beers and enjoying the sun. One looks over and sees his dog laying in the corner licking his balls.He says, "Man, I wish I could do that."The other says, "I've tried and couldn't even get close. I almost got bit!"

Two men are standing on a corner watching a dog lick itself.

Two men are standing on a corner watching a dog lick itself.First guy says, "Man, I wish I could do that."Second guy says, "You should probably try petting him first."

One morning, a man sat on his porch wondering why the sun hasn’t risen yet...

But then it dawned on him.

Honeydicked.

A married couple decide to go to a nude beach for their honeymoon. As they are laying out enjoying the sun a bee flies right up between the wife’s legs. The husband rushes her to the hospital. He explains to the doctor that his wife is allergic to bees and begs him to help. S... read more

A woman walks down the street.

At the corner of the street is a three story white house with a large porch. A parrot sits in a cage on the porch by the screen door. As the woman reaches the corner, she hears from the cage the parrot squawk "You're fat and you're ugly." The woman thinks nothing of it at first but again the... read more

I used to lay awake at night wondering if I had ever seen the sun rise….

… but then it dawned on me.

Two Robins were lying in the sun when a cat ran up and gobbled them up..

..It licked its lips and said 'I love basking robins'