An old man was sitting on a train..

An old man was sitting on a train...

across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realized she was going commandoShe saw him staring and inquired, "Are you looking at my vagina?" "Yes, I'm sorry," he replied and promised t... read more

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Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license.

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden name reinstated on my driver's license. Will there be any change of address? the clerk inquired. No, I replied.Oh, good, she said, clearly delighted. You got the house.

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A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.

A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.

registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”

The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so he’ll start to talk.

We just want to be able to understand him.

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"Master Ludwig," said Beethoven's manservant one day, "where do you get your inspiration from?"

"Master Ludwig," said Beethoven's manservant one day, "where do you get your inspiration from?".

"Why, from you of course, dear Heinrich!" Beethoven answered.Heinrich slapped his thigh in delight. "Oh, what a joker you are, master! A genius like you inspired by a dullard like me! That's a good one. Ha-ha-ha-*haaaah*! Ha-ha-ha-*haaaah!*"

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A young apprentice flukes his exams and gets to do his first autopsy.

A young apprentice flukes his exams and gets to do his first autopsy.

He walks to his supervisor. "er, excuse me..""What is it ?""Umm, it's Mrs Pratt, there's something wrong..""Well come on man, spit it out""There's a um, a b-big shrimp stuck in her er, vagina"His supervisor turns around and stares at him."um, a a, s-super shrimp, r-right in t... read more

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A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.

A blonde couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end.

The adoption center called and told them that they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, What ever possessed you to study Russian?

The couple said proudly, We just adopted a Russian baby, and in a year or so he'll start to talk.

We just want to be able to understand him."

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A young cowboy walks into the saloon.

A young cowboy walks into the saloon.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chicken congee.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the congee back into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

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