Saw the ticket inspector on my train ignoring passengers and picking her nose

Saw the ticket inspector on my train ignoring passengers and picking her nose.

I reported her for gross missed conduct.

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More jokes about: #Train #Passenger #Nose #Ticket #Conduct

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What the hell was that noise?.

What the hell was that noise?.

inspector comes by.

"Tickets please" says the inspector and the man hands him his ticket and asks:

"What happened? We were riding along smoothly when suddenly there was a screeching of twisted metal and the sound of smashed glass followed by clickety-clack."

"Ahh" said the inspector, "We ran over a black man"

"Ran over a black man! But why so much noise?" asked the passenger

"Well, he was on the platform but we still got him"

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I was on the train having a poo.

I was on the train having a poo.

When the ticket inspector knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket please."

"There you go," I replied, passing it under the door.

"Thanks for the free ticket." replied the voice, running away.

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More jokes about: #Knocked #Ticket #Inspector #Poo
The train.

The train.

he train started up and the 3 engineers quickly filed into the cabin toilet, while the 3 lawyers sit nearby the toilet to watch. The train inspector makes his rounds, and the lawyers showed their tickets readily, and when the inspector reached the toilet and asked for the ticket, a hand reached out and showed the ticket. Amazed by this trick, the lawyers decided they would try this on their trip back.

As luck would have it, the 3 engineers and 3 lawyers once again meet at the Memphis station and this time, the lawyers bought 1 ticket, wanting to do the same trick they witnessed. However, they noticed the engineers did not buy a ticket at all this time, and confused, one of the lawyers asked,"Well, how are you going to get past the inspection with no ticket?" The engineers smiled and told them to wait and see.

So the train started up and the 3 engineers filed into a toilet quickly, while the 3 lawyers cramped into the adjacent toilet. The inspector soon began making his rounds, and at this moment, one of the engineers walked outside and knocked on the lawyers' toilet, and said "Ticket please!"

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More jokes about: #Cramp #Adjacent
A Chinese girl parked in a handicap space...

A Chinese girl parked in a handicap space...

And continues onto the shops, unaware she accidentally parked in the handicap space. Coming back to her car, she sees a ticket inspector writing a bunch of tickets. She has a lot of groceries an is hurried in putting them away. The parking inspector takes one look at her, says 'carry on and have a nice day', and continues walking.

Puzzled, she resumes putting away the bags then decides to continue shopping. She later returns to her car and sees the same parking inspector. She approaches him and asks 'why didn't you give me a ticket earlier for illegally parking?'. The man replied 'love, I'm just happy that you're off the road.'

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A kinky passenger grinningly exposed himself to a stewardess as he boarded the plane.

A kinky passenger grinningly exposed himself to a stewardess as he boarded the plane.

"I'm sorry," said the woman, "but you'll have to show me your ticket, not your stub."

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More jokes about: #Boarded #Stub #Exposed #Plane #Ticket
Airport.

Airport.

Flight attendant was waiting at the gate for passengers when a man walked up to her. She said "sir, I need to see your ticket" the man then opened his trench coat and flashed her. The flight attendent then said. "sir. I said ticket. Not stub!"

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More jokes about: #Stub #Flashed