Waiting for the train

waiting for the train.

Two men are waiting for a train. The younger man asks the older man for the time, but the older man ignores him. After a while, the younger man again asks for the time and again the older man ignores him. Frustrated, the younger man finally asks, “Why won’t you answer me when I ask you for the time.... read more

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More jokes about: #Train #Shabbat

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Joseph the bar builder.

Joseph the bar builder.

lanks. But do they call me Joseph the bar builder.

Younger Man: I, uh... I don't

Older Man: No! Now, do you see that bridge outside son?

Younger Man: Uh... Yes

Older Man: I built that bridge with me own hands. I cut the lumber, I nailed the nails, I tied the lines. But do they call me Joseph the bridge builder?

Younger Man: I... I really don't

Older Man: No!... But I fuck one goat...

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Learning to Swear.

Learning to Swear.

Two brothers, 7 and 5, decide one evening that they are getting older, and it's time they learned to swear. The older brother says that he will work on "Damn" and the younger brother agrees to refine his usage of "Ass".The next morning, the brothers come down the stairs and their mother asks... read more

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Two buddies are drinking at a bar..

Two buddies are drinking at a bar..

.. having a good time. The older man mentions that he needs some relationship advice, that he has a big-time crush but isn't sure if they reciprocate.The younger guy encourages him, saying he just needs to communicate it or maybe booze dat ass up and see where things go. The older gu... read more

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Portions.

Portions.

The minister was coming over for Sunday dinner so mom told the boys they had to wait until the minister had his portion before they could eat. The younger boy asked 'how much is a portion' and the older boy responded 'I don't know, let's watch the minister to figure it out'. So they watched the minister take his food first then the younger boy said to the older boy 'I know what a portion is'. The older boy said, 'what is it?'. The younger boy responded 'damn near all of it!"

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An older man was married to a younger woman.

An older man was married to a younger woman.

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life they should cut out sex. He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them ... read more

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Two men get into a car wreck...

Two men get into a car wreck...

Both men are all right and meet to exchange information. The older man offers the younger man a drink to calm his nerves while they wait for the insurance investigator to arrive.

"Thanks for that drink, sir," the younger man says, emptying the little bit left in the bottle. "That was pretty scary."

"Don't thank me," the older man replies, casually tossing the empty bottle into the woods. "I'm a lawyer."

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