Sarcasm

Sarcasm.

Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips with the concept of sarcasm. "It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?" and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it gr... read more

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SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF SARCASM.

SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF SARCASM.

Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips

with the concept of sarcasm.

"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy

and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?"

and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather".

Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate.

Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3,

plans to use sarcasm himself in future.

"I'm, like, using it all the time" he said.

"Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them and I said

"Hey, great weather."

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Mrs Smith & The Expert.

Mrs Smith The Expert.

. Smith: "Good morning."

Salesman: "Good morning, madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..."

Mrs. Smith: (Interrupting) "No need to explain, I've been expecting you."

Salesman: "Really? Well, good. I've made a specialty of babies, specially twins."

Mrs. Smith: "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

Salesman: (Sitting) "Then you don't need to be sold on the idea?"

Mrs. Smith: "Don't concern yourself. My husband and I both agree this is the right thing to do."

Salesman: "Well, perhaps we should get down to it?"

Mrs. Smith: (Blushing) "Just where do we start?"

Salesman: "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor allows the subject to really spread out."

Mrs. Smith: "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it hasn't worked for Harry and me."

Salesman: "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time, but if we try several locations and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results. In fact, my business card says, 'I aim to please.'"

Mrs. Smith: "Pardon me, but isn't this a little informal?"

Salesman: "Madam, in my line of work, a man must be at ease and take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that."

Mrs. Smith: "Don't I know! Have you had much success at this?"

Salesman: (Opening his briefcase and finding baby pictures) "Just look at this picture. Believe it or not, it was done on top of a bus in downtown London."

Mrs. Smith: "Oh, my!!"

Salesman: "And here are pictures of the prettiest twins in town. They turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Mrs. Smith: "She was?"

Salesman: "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her down to Hyde Park to get the job done right. I've never worked under such impossible conditions. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

Mrs. Smith: "Four and five deep?"

Salesman: "Yes and for more than three hours, too. The mother got so excited she started bouncing around, squealing and yelling at the crowd. I couldn't concentrate. I'm afraid I had to ask a couple of men to restrain her. By that time darkness was approaching and I began to rush my shots. When the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith: "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh.., equipment?"

Salesman: "That's right, but it's all in a day's work. I consider my work a pleasure. I've spent years perfecting my patented technique. Now take this baby, I shot this one in the front window of a big department store."

Mrs. Smith: "I just can't believe it."

Salesman: "Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

Mrs. Smith: "TRIPOD?!?"

Salesman: "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my equipment on. It's much too heavy and unwieldy for me to hold while I'm shooting. Mrs. Smith?... Mrs. Smith?... My goodness, she's fainted!"

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