A dangerous pun..

A dangerous pun...

Two Mexicans got lost in the desert.Juan says to Miguel.'look, Miguel, it is a bacon tree!''Don't be silly Juan it is a mirage, do not waste your energy!''miguel, I am so thirsty and hungry I must go and investigate,'As Juan approaches two men jump out and sho... read more

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More jokes about: #Waste #Energy #Mirage #Silly #Juan

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Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."As Carlos and J... read more

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Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG]).

Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG]).

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims, “Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think... read more

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Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

uan approach a big hill of sand in the desert, Carlos immediately smells bacon. "Juan!!! You smell that? Smells like.... Bacon!!!!" Carlos replies reluctantly, "How could you just, smell bacon out here? Make no sense Juan." Juan replies, "Es a bacon tree! I can tell!" Carlos replies, "No Juan, es a mirage!! Es messing with your mind!"

Juan would not listen. "Ok Carlos, your choice." Juan proceeded to climb the hill, while Carlos waited down at the bottom for him, knowing that this was way to good to be true.

As Juan disappeared from Carlos's view, Carlos heard many gunshots. Terrified and confused, he didn't know what to do. Slowly, he saw Juan climb, with gunshot wounds, over the edge of the hill. "Carlos, don't go up there!!"

"Es no bacon tree." "Es a.... Es a hambush."

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Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG]).

Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG]).

so... But it is likely a mirage. I am too weak, too hungry, too thirsty. I cannot make it regardless. I must lay down to die.”

Juan remains steadfast. “No my friend, hold on until your last breath, i will venture down, and see if it is real. This Oasis will save us!”

Pedro limply nods, and slumps to the hot sand, as Juan, finding some last reserve of energy sprawls down the sand dune towards salvation. After a few minutes, he has reached his destination. He yells out to his friend, elated.

“Pedro, it’s so beautiful! There is water! A clear pool of the clearest water I have ever seen! And... Oh my God Pedro, there is a beautiful tree!”

“A tree?”, croaks Pedro from atop the ridge.

“But this is no normal tree!”, exclaims Juan, “It is bestowed with the most glorious array of porks! gammons, roast hams! My God Pedro! It’s incredible! It’s a BACON TREE!”

Pedro tears up, elated that he and his friend may get to continue their lives. “It’s a miracle Juan! A miracle from God himself! Please my friend, I do not have an ounce of energy left, please bring me some bacon from this glorious Bacon Tree!”

“Of course Pedro, of course!” Yells Juan with glee. He stands upright, spurred on by the miracle before him, and reaches out, eyeing the most succulent morsel from the Bacon Tree.

In an instant, the moment he touches it, a multitude of sub-machine-guns emerge from the branches - and Juan is annihilated by a hail of gunfire to the chest.

He slumps to the floor, gargling, dying...

“Juan! What the fuck happened!?” Yells Pedro.

“Pedro, do not come any closer...!” Gargles Juan through his shattered esophagus. “This is no Bacon Tree... It’s a Ham-Bush!”

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The two mexicans, lost in the mexican desert..

The two mexicans, lost in the mexican desert..

Juan and Pablo had been wandering aimlessly around the mexican desert for three days now. Without food and water their hopes of finding civilisation were fading fast.. When through the mirage they sight a bacon tree!The tree meant food, water and shelter so the two began running towards the ... read more

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Two Mexicans are lost in the desert...

Two Mexicans are lost in the desert...

Juan and Pedro running from the policía soon became lost in the desert for weeks, despite plenty of water, they were out of food! With the sun beating down on them, things were looking grim..."Juan, if we no find food soon we'll starve!""Si Pedro, the hunger hurts too much...!""Oh Ju... read more

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