Guy at the bar is so wasted that he throws up on his shirt..

Guy at the bar is so wasted that he throws up on his shirt...

He looks down and says "Man, my wife is gonna be so pissed I puked on myself again"Guy next to him says "Do what I do, I put 10 dollars in my pocket and when my wife sees me, I tell her some asshole at the bar puked on my and gave me the 10 dollars to have it cleaned"The drunk guy th... read more

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Guy at the bar is so wasted that he throws up on his shirt...

Guy at the bar is so wasted that he throws up on his shirt...

inks this is an awesome solution and proceeds to get home. His wife is waiting for him and starts yelling at him "You got drunk and puked on your shirt again, didn't you?"

The guy says "No, what happened is that I was at the bar and this guy puked on me, but he put 10 dollars in my shirt pocket so I can have it cleaned"

Wife reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out 2 $10 dollar bills and says "This is not 10 dollars, this is 20!"

Guy says "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too"

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More jokes about: #Wasted
A man is drinking with his friend at a bar, he drinks too much and ends up puking all over his shirt.

A man is drinking with his friend at a bar, he drinks too much and ends up puking all over his shirt.

all over you so he gave you 10 dollars for dry cleaning”.

The guy goes home to his wife and she immediately starts yelling about his drinking.

He says “no no honey, I had one drink, the guy next to me puked on me, I can prove it, he put 10 dollars in my pocket for dry cleaning”

She reaches into his pocket and says “but there’s a 20 in here”.

The man says “I know, he also crapped in my pants”.

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A guy in a bar pukes on his shirt.

A guy in a bar pukes on his shirt. His mate says, “No worries, just stick a $10 bill in your pocket, and tell your wife some guy puked on you and gave you the money for the cleaning bill!” So, he explains this to his wife who then asks, “So why are there two $10 bills in your pocket?” He replies, “Oh, because the guy pissed in my pants as well!”

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A man is drinking with his friend at a bar, he drinks too much and ends up puking all over his shirt.

A man is drinking with his friend at a bar, he drinks too much and ends up puking all over his shirt.

He starts freaking out and tells his friend, “ I can’t go home like this, my wife’s been nagging me about my drinking and she’ll lose it”,His friend says “don’t worry, I’m going to put a 10 dollar bill in your pocket, tell your wife you had one drink but the guy next to you overdid it and puked ... read more

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Two guys are in a bar. One had too much to drink and pukes all over himself.

Two guys are in a bar. One had too much to drink and pukes all over himself.

Wife sees him and says “ohh honey look what you’ve done! You’ve been sick everywhere! I can’t believe you got this drunk.”

“Noo”, the man says, “it was someone else and look, to prove it there’s ten dollars in my shirt pocket from the guy who did it to go get it cleaned.”

“But there’s twenty dollars in here...” she points out

“I know,” he says, “he also shit in my pants.”

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Two guys are getting really drunk at a bar...

Two guys are getting really drunk at a bar...

d says, "Just tell your wife that it wasn't your fault, and it was some other guy who puked on you, but was nice enough to give you 20 bucks for your cleaning bill."

So the puke-covered fellows stumbles home and in the process wakes his wife who as predicted is incensed at the deplorable state of her husband at this late hour.

He states, "Honey it wasn't me. There was a guy at the bar who puked all over me and gave me a 20 to get the shirt cleaned up. Just look in the pocket and you'll find the money."

She checks his pocket and finds two twenty dollar bills there and asks, "Where the hell did the second bill come from then?"

He smiles at her and replies, "That's from the other guy who pooped in my pants."

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More jokes about: #Vomit