Two whales are sitting at a bar

Two whales are sitting at a bar.

The first whale says: "eeeeeooooooohhhhhh mmmmmmuhuuuuuuaaaa clck clck clck clck AAAAuuuuuUuuuuuh!!!"And the second whale replies back: "dude you are WASTED I hope you didn't drive here"

Biologists [find a whale washed up on the shore].

Biologists [find a whale washed]: it’s a new species, what do we call it?................Bunch o’ surfer dudes walking by: yo! Killer whale dude.....................Biologists[looking at each other]:...

How do you get two whales in a car?.

Start in England and drive west.

Person 1 - "I hope you realize your wasting my time!"

Person 2 - "Wasting time? Says the person who does Masturbating wars in the boys locker room."

Two surfer dudes are sitting in church.

One turns to the other and says, "DUDE! Did you know God has a name?"

"Dude, NO WAY!!!"

"Yahweh!"

I wrote an essay on whales once, but I got a bad mark.

Didn't have the proper cetaceans.

A whale and a wave make a bet. (Just made this up.).

The whale says to the wave, "I bet I could beat in a race to land." The wave agrees, so the whale takes off. He swims so fast, he drives himself ashore. The wave following behind him says " Hah! Beached ya!"