Death: It's your time

Death: It's your time. give me your hand

Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die!

Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!

Blonde: *high fives*

Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...

As the judge sentenced me to death, I tried to offer him a high five.

But he left me hanging.

Judge:You are sentenced to death.

Judge: You'll be hung.

Wife from down the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG!

Me: Your Honor please uncuff me so I can high five my wife.

Two blondes speaking: - My boyfriend is a veterinarian.

- Oh, did he fight in a war?

- No, you dumbass, he doesn't eat meat.

Two blondes speaking: - My boyfriend is a veterinarian.

- Oh, did he fight in a war?- No, you dumbass, he doesn’t eat meat.

Two blondes are building a house.

As they're hammering away, one blonde notices that the other is discarding every other nail she picks up.Blonde 1: What are you doing?!Blonde 2: These nails are no good. The pointy part is on the wrong end.Blonde 1: You dumbass! Those are for the other side of the house!

How did the Roman contract AIDS?.

From a high five