Girl on Facebook:OH MY GOD i just found out my grandad built the titanic !!
Me:Well he didn't do a very good job did he ?
Damned if you do.
Grandad: My sister drowned in a pond. Dreadfully sad...
Me: Oh my God, that's terrible!
Grandad: Not really. If she'd floated, we would have had to burn her!
The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.
Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker.
As my old Grandad was so fond of saying , "When you're in a hole stop digging".
It cost him his job in the graveyard , though.
Just found out my grandad left me a stately home in his will.
I just don’t know where sod hall is...
My Grandma and Grandad beat the Coronavirus....
My grandma died last year in January and my grandad died 4 years ago.
Kid 1: "My grandad can play the piano with his feet".
Kid 2: "That's nothing; MY grandad fiddles with his dick"