A husband and wife are in a terrible car crash

A husband and wife are in a terrible car crash.

The wife walks away with some minor cuts and bruises, but the husband is in critical condition and is rushed into surgery.After 5 or 6 hours in the waiting room, the wife sees the doctor approaching in blood-stained scrubs."I've got good news and bad news," he says. "Which would you ... read more

Wife in bed says to her husband I know it was you who farted .

Husband responds How can it be me when I know it was you who farted ?

Wife replies because I can see the stain on your underwear .

Husband: "I have good news and bad news".

Wife: "Tell me the bad news first."

Husband: "The washing machine broke."

Wife: "And the good news?"

Husband: "The dogs are clean."

Cinderella.

Wife complains to her husband: " I feel like Cinderella in our house! I have to cook, clean, scrub, do the dishes, wipe the floor...!?"Husband: "Darling, I told you life with me is like a fairy-tale!"

I just named my new dog 'Stain'.

I get a lots of stares when I yell, "Come Stain."

Mrs Piggy and her husband got in a fight last night...

She's come out with a few bruises, but her husband is said to be Kermitose...

How is the new secretary?.

Wife: How is the new secretary?Husband: OkWife: How does she dress?Husband: Quickly