Peter the Builder

Peter the Builder.

Derek and his grandpa, Peter, are sitting up on a hillside. Peter says "you see that wall, I helped build that wall, but do they call me Peter the wall builder? nooo. You see that house? I built that house but do they call me Peter the housebuilder? no. You see that church? I built that church too, ... read more

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Shamus....

Shamus....

Ya see tha' wall over there lad? I built that wall. I built that wall with mine own two hands. I chiseled every brick, laid every speck of mortar. But they don't call me Shamus the wall builder, no. Ya see tha' dock down there lad? I built that dock with mine own two hands. I drove e... read more

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An Scottish man walks into a bar, looking depressed.

An Scottish man walks into a bar, looking depressed.

ass in the usual way.

“You seem a bit down, laddie. What’s troublin’ you, friend?”

The man sighs, then orders another shot. As the bartender pours it, the man looks out the window. “You see that wall over there? That wall stretches from here to the next town. I built that wall brick by brick with my bare hands. Do they call me McManus the Wall Builder? Nah.” And he slams down the shot.

Signaling the bartender for another, he continues. “You see that church down there? That’s the largest church for twenty miles. I built that church brick by brick with my bare hands. Do they call me McManus the Church Builder? Nah.” And he quickly drank another shot.

The bartender can tell he’s in a bad spot, and starts to pour him another drink. As expected, the man continues. “Do you see all those homes out there? I built those homes, brick by brick with my bare hands. Do they call me McManus the Home Builder? Nah.”

The man cradles his shot for a moment, then finally closes his eyes and mutters under his breath...

“But you fuck ONE goat...”

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An unfortunate Scot.

An unfortunate Scot.

now, do they?

[Pointing out the window] Ye see that bridge over there? Built it with me bare hands, took me 10 years, but they don’t call me MacGregor the Bridge Builder now, do they?

[Pointing out the window] Ye see that church over there? Built it with me bare hands, took me 15 years, but they don’t call me MacGregor the Church builder now, do they?

[Pointing out the window] Ye see that tower over there? Built it with me bare hands, took me 20 years, but they don’t call me MacGregor the Tower Builder now, do they?

But ya fuck one goat...

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Best joke that I tell...got it from this sub over a year ago.

Best joke that I tell...got it from this sub over a year ago.

ub. I raised these walls, I built these tables, I laid the stone floor...I built this Pub, and it's a beautiful Pub...but do they call me Blarney the Pub Builder? No...they don't."

The tourist looked around and agreed. It WAS a beautiful Pub.

Then the old man says:

"Look out in the yard out front...do you see that wall? I built that wall. I quarried the stones, I chiseled them to shape, I carefully placed each one. I built that wall, and it's a beautiful wall...but do they call me Blarney the Wall Builder? No...they don't."

The tourist was admiring the craftsmanship of the wall when Blarney interrupted his thought and said:

"Young man, look out the window to the lake. Do you see that pier? I built that pier. I chopped down every tree, I milled every plank, and I drove every nail. I built that pier, and it's a beautiful pier. But do they call me Blarney the Pier Builder? No...they don't...

...but you fuck ONE goat..."

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The scotish hill traveler and the bartender.

The scotish hill traveler and the bartender.

he bar builder? No!" *points out the window* "You see that wall? I built that wall with my bare hands, found every stone, placed them all so and so, through the rain and the thunder, but do they call me Gregor the wall builder? No!" *points out the other window* "You see that pier? I built that pier with my bare hands, carried every pillon into the water, drove them in the sand and the dirt, against the waves and the tide, but do they call me Gregor the peer builder? No!" He continues :"But you fuck one goat..."

Not my joke, heard it on a ted talk.

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While Visiting Scotland I stop at a bar.

While Visiting Scotland I stop at a bar.

egor the bar builder? Noooo"

Another drink later he puts his arm around me and says, "Ach, laddie, you see that wall outside? that wall right there?! I built that wall with mine own two hands and mine own aching back! But do they call me MacGregor the wall builder? Noooo"

As I am finishing up my drink he leans in close and states," Ach, laddie, you see that pier. That pier right there?! I built that pier with mine own two hands and mine own aching back. But do they call me MacGregor the pier builder? Noooo"

"You fuck ONE GOAT!!!"

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