I was walking through the forest when I saw something glimmer in the grass

I was walking through the forest when I saw something glimmer in the grass.

"I approached and it turned out to be a golden frog. I quickly grabbed it, intending to sell it for a lot of money, but the frog spoke to me.- Let me go and I'll grant you 3 wishes.First I didn't believe it, so I tried to stick it in my pocket, but the frog spoke again.... read more

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Give the frog a loan.

Give the frog a loan.

A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller, "Please, ma'am," he says. "I need to take out a loan so I can feed my family.""Do you have any sort of photo-ID?" The teller asks."No," the frog replies. "But I do have this!" The frog pulls out a small golden elephant.The te... read more

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More jokes about: #Identification #Collateral
A man with a 20 inch penis goes to the doctor.

A man with a 20 inch penis goes to the doctor.

ially as a physician, there's a method I've heard of that could help you out. Just out of the city, in the swamps down south, there's a golden frog that can talk. Find it, then ask it to marry you. It'll say no, of course, but every time it does your penis will shrink by 4 inches. Do it as many times as you need."

Naturally, the man was skeptical, but he decided to give it a shot - what did he have to lose, after all? So that very same day he drove south to the swamps, beginning his search for the elusive golden frog. He spent all afternoon, all evening, then all night searching for the frog, to no avail. And then, as if by some miracle, he spotted something gold and shiny perched up on a log. No question about it, it was the golden frog! Ecstatic, the man sneaked up on the frog to make sure he didn't scare it, and when he was close enough asked:

"Golden frog, will you marry me?"

"No," responded the frog with a human, female voice.

The man looked inside his pants and, lo and behold, his penis had visibly shrunk! If the doctor was right, then he was now sitting at 16 inches. It was still unmanageably large, but he was on the right track!

"Golden frog, will you marry me?" He repeated.

"No," the golden frog replied in turn.

Looking inside his pants again, the man noticed another visible shrink! This was amazing! If the doctor was right, then his penis was now only 12 inches! The man decided to ask just once more, since while an 8 inch penis was still very impressive, it was going to be small enough to not interfere with his every day life.

"Golden frog, will you marry me?"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" The frog turned to him, annoyed. "No, no, no!!!"

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More jokes about: #Swamps #Method
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit.

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit.

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, they came across a golden frog.They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He to... read more

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A young man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

A young man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The young man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.The... read more

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Give the frog a loan.

Give the frog a loan.

A frog hops into a bank and approaches the teller, "Please, ma'am," he says. "I need to take out a loan so I can feed my family."

"Do you have any sort of photo-ID?" The teller asks.

"No," the frog replies. "But I do have this!" The frog pulls out a small golden elephant.

The teller looks at the elephant, "I'm sorry but without proper photo identification I cannot give you a loan."

"Please! My family is hungry and we really need the money!" The frog looks at the teller's name-tag, "Please, Patty, I'm good for the money. This elephant was given to me by Mick Jagger. Please take it as collateral."

The teller looks from the frog to the elephant and sighs, "Give me a moment, I'm going to go talk to my manager and I'll see what I can do."

"Oh thank you so much!" The frog jumps joyfully as Patty walks into the back room and approaches her manager.

"Sir, there is a frog out in front that wants a loan. He has no form of photo-ID, but claims that he is good for the money. He has a small golden elephant that was given to him by Mick Jagger that he wants to use as collateral... What should I do?"

The manager looks Patty directly in the eyes and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty-whack. Give the frog a loan."

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Your Honor.

Your Honor.

I once went golfing. I couldn't even get par in a single hole, until I found this magical frog! It was sparkly, and when I picked it up, I felt a warm spike through my spine. All of a sudden, I hole-in-oned the rest of the holes. It was a lucky frog. It spoke to me, and said, "Go gamble!" Luckily, I... read more

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