My five-year-old, everyone

My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:nbsp;Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me na... read more

My five-year-old, everyone.

My insanely witty five-year-old, ladies and gentlemen:

Step-daughter: "I'm hungry."

Me: "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad."

Her: "Ahhhhgh could you not say that anymore?"

Me: "Aw why not, sweets?"

Her: "Because I don't like it when you call me names like hungry or thirsty or anything!"

Me: "Alright, I'm not going to say that anymore."

Her: "Nice to meet you, not going to say that anymore."

I had just been out-dad-joked by my five-year-old. It was so unexpected, and was the first time I think I recognized how hilarious she was with her wit. I really miss her (because of a divorce, not a funeral).

A 4-year-old kid was at school and his teacher told him that his homework was to learn the first four letters of the alphabet.

her was playing Bat-Man when the kid asked him what’s the third letter of the alphabet so he said “Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!!” and the kid went away, happy.

His 2 and 3/4 year old sisters playing with her dolls when he asked her about the fourth letter of the alphabet so she said “On my voom voom car.”

The next day at school when his teacher asked him for the first letter of the alphabet he said "Shut Up", so the teacher asked him if he wanted to go to the principal’s office, and he said "YES YES YES!!!" At the principal’s office the principle asked him “Who do you think you are?” the kid replied “Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!!” so the principle said “How are you going to get out of this mess?” And the kid replied “On my voom voom car”

A five year old and a four year old decide to start cursing.

A five year old and a four year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the five year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing." The four year old nods his head in approval. The 5 year old continues, "When we go down stairs for breakfast I'm gonna say "hell", and you say "ass... read more

9 year old told me this today. My favorite exercise is a mix between a crunch and a lunge...

It's called lunch. Dad, I'm hungry.

How do they organize a party on Mars?.

They planet. My five year old told me this today.

Witty Answer from a Four Year Old.

Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".

MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"

ME: "Have someone throw one at you."