A Roman army was making it's way through Scotland... [long]

A Roman army was making it's way through Scotland... [long].

Their march was interrupted by a frenzied shouting in the distance. The general ordered his men to stop and directed his attention towards the source of the noise. A single highland warrior was standing alone at the top of a small hill, yelling at the oncoming army."Come ahead ya big Jessies... read more

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More jokes about: #Ridge #Highland #Jessie #Liege #Taunts

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An American Man Moves to Scotland.

An American Man Moves to Scotland.

Fed up with his life in the states he packs up everything he owns and moves to a tiny cottage in the far north highlands of Scotland. He lives there quietly content for over a month before meeting anyone.One day the American hears a knock on his door and opens it to find his neighbor a big, ... read more

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More jokes about: #Highland #Waltz
How to carve a fish.

How to carve a fish.

In the 70's in Scotland, there was a TV show called 'Weirs Way', where a man called Jim Weir would walk around the highlands, chatting with local characters.One episode, he met an old man who carved elaborate walking sticks. Jim picked up a stick that had a beautiful leaping salmon for a han... read more

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More jokes about: #Weir #Highland #Carved #Intricate
A tourist is backpacking through the highlands of Scotland, and he stops at a pub to get a drink...

A tourist is backpacking through the highlands of Scotland, and he stops at a pub to get a drink...

the only people in there are a bartender and an old man nursing a beer. And he orders a pint, and they sit in silence for a while. And suddenly the old man turns to him and goes, "You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare hands from the finest wood in the county. Gave it more love and care tha... read more

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Once upon a time, in Scotland...

Once upon a time, in Scotland...

A man is using his hand to scoop some water from a Scottish Highland brook. He is about to drink when he is interrupted by a local shouting a warning: “Dinnae drink thon water, mun, it’s foo o’ coo’s shite ’n’ pish.”The man peers over at the local and calls back, “My good fellow, I’m English... read more

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More jokes about: #Brook #Scotland #Highland #Scoop
My favourite Scottish joke [x-post r/Scotland].

My favourite Scottish joke [x-post r/Scotland].

An Englishman is out walking in the Highlands and gets thirsty, so he stops at a river to get some water. He's about to bring the water up to his mouth with his hand when he gets interrupted by a shepherd nearby."Dinnae drink oot the river, it's foo o' sheep pish!"The Englishman look... read more

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A film crew was filming in the highlands in Scotland when an old Gaelic seer came hobbling by and said, "Tomorrow rain," and hobbled on.

A film crew was filming in the highlands in Scotland when an old Gaelic seer came hobbling by and said, "Tomorrow rain," and hobbled on. Sure enough it rained the very next day. Again he hobbled past and said, "Tomorrow sunshine." It was indeed a fine sunny day the next day. The director was mighty impressed and got the crew to hire him and every day the wise old sage predicted accurately what the weather would be. But after a couple of weeks the old man didn't show up and eventually the director found him in a bothy and said, "Hey, we need your predictions, why aren't you showing up?" "Radio broken," the old man replied.

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