Not sure if this will work outside of Scotland..

Not sure if this will work outside of Scotland...

Two cows in a field, which one is on holiday?- the one with the wee calf

Two Scottish cows in a field, what one is on holiday?.

The one with the wee calf.

Q: Two cows standing in a field. Which one is on holiday?.

A. The one with the wee calf.

Ok, time to see if a Scottish joke translates...

Two cows are standing in a field, which one is going on holiday?

The one with the wee calf.

Why did the cow go on holiday?.

Because she had a wee calf.

There are three men on a train...

One of them is an economist and one of them is a logician and one of them is a mathematician. And they have just crossed the border into Scotland and they see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train.

And the economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."

And the logician says, "No. There are cows in Scotland of which one at least is brown."

And the mathematician says, "No. There is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown."

Three men are on a train.

One is an economist, one is a logician, and the other is a mathematician.

They are riding into Scotland, as they pass a brown cow.

The economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."

The logician says, "No, there are cows in Scotland of which at least one is brown"

The mathematician says, "No, There is at least one cow in scotland, of which one side appears to be brown from this distance"