I was sitting at the bar by myself on a business trip over in Scotland..

I was sitting at the bar by myself on a business trip over in Scotland...

...and there was an older gentleman all by himself at the end of the bar. I didn’t know anyone there, the bartender wasn’t too friendly so I stood up, walked over to the man to start up a conversation. I asked the bartender for a couple of pints and sat down next to the man. “Hi there” I sai... read more

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Three large girls walk into a bar...

Three large girls walk into a bar...

They sit down at the bar and try to order a drink. The bartender clearly doesn't understand their heavy accents so a man comes over to try and help. The man says, "excuse me, but are you ladies from Scotland?"

They say, "No! Wales, Wales!"

"Oh my apologies! Are you whales from Scotland?"

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More jokes about: #Scotland #Heavy
Three heftier women enter a bar and order their drinks. The bartender says, "Y'all have some interesting accents. You broads from Scotland?"

Three heftier women enter a bar and order their drinks. The bartender says, "Y'all have some interesting accents. You broads from Scotland?".

They glare at him and one says, "Wales."He says, "Ok... You whales from Scotland?"

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More jokes about: #Scotland
A guy is sitting at a bar...

A guy is sitting at a bar...

and he hears a few women at the far end of the bar. They sound like they are from the UK so he looks over and sees 3 enormous, fat women. he walks over and asks:

"so are you 3 women from Scotland?"

"Wales"

"oh, im sorry. so are you 3 whales from Scotland?"

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More jokes about: #Scotland
Grandpa's joke last night.

Grandpa's joke last night.

Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.

The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."

The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"

Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were in my younger brothers school for a basketball game and everyone was in earshot.

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More jokes about: #Earshot
A guy at a bar says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 I can pee in that cup all the way over there at the end of the bar."

A guy at a bar says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 I can pee in that cup all the way over there at the end of the bar." The bartender agrees, so the guy whips it out and he pees all over the bar. Having just won $1,000, the bartender starts smiling. The guy goes over to a table where his friends are seating and collects a bunch of money from them. He walks back to the bar, gives the bartender his $1,000, and then starts laughing. The bartender asks, "Why are you laughing? You just lost the bet." The guy says, "Before I bet you, I bet all of my friends over there $2,000 dollars that I could pee all over your bar and you would be happy about it!"

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More jokes about: #Miscellaneous jokes
So I'm in a bar and two large women with accents walk in and sit down.

So I'm in a bar and two large women with accents walk in and sit down.

I look over to them and say: "hey ladies, nice accents. Are you from Scotland?"

One of the ladies yells: "it's Wales, you idiot!!"

So I said: "Ok, that's cool. Are you two whales from Scotland?"

I don't remember much else.

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More jokes about: #Scotland #Large