A man dies and finds himself in an elevator

A man dies and finds himself in an elevator.

He did expect a light at the end of the tunnel and all that, but he decides to see where things are going. Pretty soon, the destination of his elevator-ride is showing up on the display: "Hell" "Well", the man thinks, "I've had a good life. Fair's fair I guess." The elevator opens an... read more

Went to the County Fair with my SO, but the Tunnel of Love was closed.

Not sure what happened, the sign just said "Out of Ardor"

A tourist is driving through the Australian outback.

>Barman replies "Why is that mate ?"

Tourist says "I've just seen a man having sex with a sheep and now a one legged man masturbating by the bar"

"Be fair mate", said the barman, "You can't expect a one legged bloke to catch a sheep !!"

I pop a viagra every time I need to leave my apartment.

You don’t expect me to call the elevator with my finger, do you???

Elevator Ride.

A man is standing in an elevator when a woman walks in. As the elevator begins to descend the man asks “Ma’am, can I smell your pussy?”Appalled, the woman screams “Absolutely not!”The man replies “hmm, must be your feet that smell.”

Pennsylvania and New Jersey changed their state mottos today in order to cut their highway budgets.

Now they both proudly display "Road Work Ahead. Expect Delays" on their welcome signs to better reflect the status of their roadways.

Expensive perfume.

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume.

She turns to the old Italian woman on the elevator with her and says arrogantly, "Giorgio - Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"

Another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, looks both beautiful women in the eye, turns, bends over, and farts. "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound."