A rich lady hires an old mountain guide for a climbing trip in the Alps

A rich lady hires an old mountain guide for a climbing trip in the Alps.

One day, as they cross into Switzerland for more climbing, they are stopped at the frontier by a custom agent. He makes them open their bags and, with Swiss serious and thoroughness, inspects the contents of the lady's bag first.He immediately finds 6 pairs of panties and cries:"Ha! ... read more

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Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet.

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet.

The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

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More jokes about: #Alp #Switzerland #Alps
The Alpine Find.

The Alpine Find.

An archaeological dig team was on an expedition to the Alps when they discovered a mummified human buried in the ice. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a young male from the Neolithic period.The team was split into two sections: Section One was to climb the slope and retrieve the mum... read more

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing bonde and an old lady...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing bonde and an old lady...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is... read more

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...

They duck into an abandoned warehouse, each find a an empty sack, and climb into it.

Cops follow and poke the bag with the brunette. The brunette goes woof! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of dogs, and walks on.

They poke the bag with the redhead. The redhead goes meow! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of cats, and walks on.

They poke the bag with the blonde and the blonde goes Potato. Potato.

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More jokes about: #Brunette #Cops #Duck #Policeman
A haggard old woman walks into a bar.

A haggard old woman walks into a bar.

She's holding a paper bag. She climbs up on the bar and holds up the bag."Any of you guys guess what's in this bag gets some tail!"There's an uncomfortable silence until a smartass in the back yells "Yeah! Is it an elephant?""Close enough, let's go."

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There was an old lady who knew how to ride a scooter.

There was an old lady who knew how to ride a scooter.

inspector asked her like this:

\- Listen, granny, you come by every day, with that bag behind you. What the hell are you carrying in that bag?

The old lady smiled and replied:

\- It's sand!

Then the inspector smiled. He thought it wasn't sand at all and told the old lady to jump off the scooter to examine the bag. The old lady did, the inspector emptied the bag and there was only sand inside. Very embarrassed, he ordered the old lady to go ahead. She mounted the scooter and walked away, with the sandbag behind.

But the inspector is still wary. Maybe the old lady would spend one day with sand and the next with swag, inside that damn bag. The next day, when she passed the scooter with the bag behind her, the inspector told her to stop again. He asked what was in the bag and she replied that it was sand. The inspector examined it and it was. For a month straight the inspector intercepted the old lady and, every time, what she carried in the bag was sand.

That's when the inspector got upset:

\- Look, granny, I'm a customs officer with 25 years of service. Nobody gets it out of my mind that you are a smuggler.

\- But there is only sand in the bag! - insisted the old lady. And he was about to apprehend the scooter when the inspector proposed:

\- I promise you I'll let you pass. I won't arrest you, I don't apprehend, I won't tell anyone anything, but you will tell me: what is the contraband that you are passing through here every day?

\- Do you promise not to report?

asked the old lady.

"I promise." replied the inspector.

\- Scooters.

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