Best read in an Irish brogue

Best read in an Irish brogue.

I see yer new in th'area, boyz, so ai'll give ya some free advice. Be careful wat yer known far, as da locals can be a bit stickish.Lookit me 'uouse, wouldja. I built it wit me own two 'ands, drew da plans up, too. But do dey call me "Billy da 'uouse-builder?" Naw.That bridge, over a... read more

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Best read in an Irish brogue.

Best read in an Irish brogue.

wn the the udder side o'da meadow. Built it meself, wit da 'elp o' dose Flannigan boys. An' d'ya tink dey call me "Billy da bridge-builder?" Naw.

An' da meadow itself, I layed out da plot, all right and proper, mind ye. Sunk da fence, too. Do dey call me "Billy da surveyor?" Naw.

But ya get drunk an' fuck one goat! *Just one!*

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More jokes about: #Dose #Meadow #Surveyor
Wats da difference between a jew an a canoe?.

Wats da difference between a jew an a canoe?.

A canoe tips

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Yer da gets a chest infection and spits in a bucket.

Yer da gets a chest infection and spits in a bucket.

Calls himself fleminem

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were out fishing one day when Thibodeaux started thinkin.

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were out fishing one day when Thibodeaux started thinkin.

“Ay, Boudreaux, why come dem scuba divaahs alway fallin backwahds into da watah?” Boudreaux squinted at Thibodeaux and shook his head. “Cauz if dey fell fo-wad, Thibodeaux, dey’d still be in da boat.”

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Why a Merc is among the top rated cars.

Why a Merc is among the top rated cars.

the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick "hello" bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"Wat are those?, asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, wat on this God's earth are dey for?" Inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman,

"Mercedes thinks of everything !"

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A yooper WW2 Fighter Pilot visited a school to talk about his service.

A yooper WW2 Fighter Pilot visited a school to talk about his service.

"In 19 and 42, da situation was really tough. The Germans, dey had a very strong Air Force. I remember dis one day I was protectin' da bombers and suddenly, from outta da clouds, dese fokkers appeared."

*At this point, several of the children giggle*

"I looked up, and right above me was one of da fokkers. I aimed at him and shot dat fokker down. Da fokkers was everywhere, dere was anoder fokker right behind me."

The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company"

"Ya... ya... dat's true!" says the old pilot, "but dese fokkers was flyin' Messerschmidts."

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More jokes about: #Outta #Bombers #Appeared #Dis