A canyon was knighted for its exceptional contribution to satire

A canyon was knighted for its exceptional contribution to satire.

From then on, the canyon was referred to as Sir Chasm.

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A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

LShe climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local s... read more

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"A razor up the queen's vagina".

"A razor up the queen's vagina".

f on his journey, he took a razor and stuck it up the queen's vagina.

After a few days, the king came back and immediately asked all his knights to assemble in the court. He said, "I know some of you have been sleeping with my queen behind my back and I intend to punish the culprits who have done so. Remove all your clothes right now." The knights of the court removed everything and stood completely naked.

Except one knight, the rest of them had had their dicks cut off. "Aha!", said the king, "you have all slept with her. You shall be hanged." The king then went up to the one knight whose dick hadn't been cut off and asked him, "my good man, you are the only one who has been loyal to me, what is your name?". The knight opened his mouth but his tongue had been cut off.

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The most trustworthy knight.

The most trustworthy knight.

A king is about to set out on a journey far away from his home, and must leave his wife behind, but is worried about her faithfulness. He asks the local blacksmith to create a chastity belt that will keep his wife faithful, and so the blacksmith gets to work right away. The blacksmith brings the king a set of metal undergarments with a lock in the back, and a large hole in the front. The king asks why the blacksmith would leave a hole in such a spot. The blacksmith proceeds to get a short stick, and place it in the hole. Immediately, the end of the stick is chopped off by a blade within the hole. The king is impressed, so he leaves on his way after giving the undergarments to his wife. On the day the king returned, he assembled all of his knights in a line, and told them to drop their pants, in order to see who had tried to have their way with his wife. To his displeasure, the king saw that all down the line, every knight had lost his member to the blade, with the exception of one. The king congratulated the knight on his trustworthiness, and asked that he be made the new general in his army. The knight simply shook his head. The king asked again, and again the knight simply shook his head. Confused, the king asked the knight why he refused to accept such an honor, only to have the next knight in line turned to the king and say, "Forgive him, your majesty, he has had trouble speaking since his tongue was chopped off."

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My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake. Not knowing if it was poisonous, he quickly grabbed the creature by the head, bit it in half and drove me, himself and the snake's body to the hospital.

As soon as we got there, the doctor informed us that for future reference proper term was *venomous* and this particular snake was not.

Which would have been a relief, except by that point uncle Larry had died of a poisonous snake bite.

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One day, King Arthur had to leave Camelot to go for a diplomatic hunt. Worried about his wife's potential infidelity, he asks Merlin to fashion her a chastity belt...

One day, King Arthur had to leave Camelot to go for a diplomatic hunt. Worried about his wife's potential infidelity, he asks Merlin to fashion her a chastity belt...

r pants.

Incredibly, all of their dicks are cut off, except Sir Lancelot. King Arthur, furious, yells at his knights, "See! Look how none of you are trustworthy around my wife. How dare you all to betray me! I shall have you all demoted, except for Sir Lancelot, my dearest, truest friend. Thank you for keeping my trust, good noble sir. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?"

...But Sir Lancelot could not speak.

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I met my husband while I was working in a science library.

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books.

After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn't answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books. "Since I couldn't find the right engagement ring," he said, "this will have to do," and he firmly stamped my hand. Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read "NOT FOR CIRCULATION."Contributed by Ruth E. Chodrow

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