Me: "Dude, I got my first kiss!"

Me: "Dude, I got my first kiss!"

Friend: "Your mom doesnt count."

me: "Ya, but yours does."

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Kid: I love you.

Kid: I love you. You love me.

teen: dude what are you 5???

Kid: ya 5 inches deep in your mom!!!

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Dude: Do you speak English?

dude: Do you speak English?

Me: Yes

Dude: What is your name?

Me: Bob

Dude: Sex?

Me: Maybe 3-5 times a week

Dude: No I mean boy or girl

Me: Well both

Dude: Holy cow

Me: Yes,cow,sheep,animals in general

Dude: Aren't those hostile?

Me: Horse style,Doggy style,any style!

Dude: Oh dear

Me: No,no! Deer run too fast...

ENGLISH IS HARD

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Kiss me if im wrong but your coming home with me tonight

kiss me if im wrong but your coming home with me tonight

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Does your mom count?.

Does your mom count?.

Interviewee: Do you have any experience with heavy machinery?

Me: Does your mom count?

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Dick: Your still a virgin

Dick: Your still a virgin

Me: Ya until last night

Dick Ya okay

Me: Just ask your sister

Dick: I don't have one Me: You will in about 9 months

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Did you hear the one about the guy who kissed his 3rd cousin?.

Did you hear the one about the guy who kissed his 3rd cousin?.

He stopped counting

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