So two good ol' boys are talking on the porch…

So two good ol' boys are talking on the porch….

…and one says to the other, "Heard you an' yer wife're havin' a yung'un."

The other says, "Yup."

First one says, "Gonna be boy or girl?"

Other says, "Don' know. Still tryna figger out if I'm a dad or an uncle."

A Cowboy Walks Into a Saloon, Naked . . .

. . . except for his boots.The place goes dead silent. The cowboy orders a drink, and the bartender asks, “Boy, you know you ain’t got no clothes on?”“Yup,” drawls the cowboy, “but it ain’t my fault.”“Ain’t yer fault?” says another fella in disbelief. “How’d you get nekkid, t... read more

A Spanish pirate walks into a bar... [OC].

A Spanish pirate walks into a bar, and he appears down in the dumps. The bartender notices this and asks,

"Aye, what'll ye be havin'?"

"Agua, por favor."

"Hm, whatever floats yer boat, lad."

"...Sí."

What did one leper say to another?.

Got yer nose!

An elderly couple are having breakfast together one morning. The wife, fanning herself, looks longingly across the table at her husband and says, “Shew-WEE! Eugene, I’m still just as hot for you right now as I was the day we married.”.

Eugene rolls his eyes and says, “Ethel! One of yer tits is in yer coffee, and the othern’s in yer oatmeal!”

What did the wizard recruiting Hagrid say to him?.

Yer a hairy wizard

what did Hagrid say to Gandalf?.

stop playing with hobbits, yer a wizzard!