Dating a nice guy

Dating a nice guy.

Sam: Your boyfriend seems real nice.

Alex: Yea, he's the best!

Sam: He seems a little TOO nice though, can't be all that exciting in the bedroom.

Alex: Not true, what they say about nice guys is true you know.

Sam: What's that?

Alex: Nice guys ALWAYS finish last.

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Harry and his buddy Sam were going for a stroll.

Harry and his buddy Sam were going for a stroll. “Sam” said Harry “You know my wife?” “Sure do” said Sam. “Well she ain’t gonna be my wife anymore! Right after the weekend it’s gonna be over! I’m divorcing her!”

Sam was aghast, “Harry, I can’t believe it! You seemed to get along so well together! And she seemed like such a nice wife too!”

Harry stopped walking and and turned to Sam. “Sam, take a look at the loafers I’m wearing. Don’t they look comfy? They have a nice stylish shape, and they look mighty comfortable. Don’t they Sam?”

“They do Harry” said Sam, “but I’m not quite sure what you are getting at.”

“Well guess what Sam?” said Harry raising his voice, “I’m the only one who knows that they are pinching my darn feet!!!”

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Sam got 20 out of 100 on a test.

Sam got 20 out of 100 on a test.

He thought it was a nice *score*.

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Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies.

Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies.  A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat.  "What are you doing?" asked Fred.

Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied "I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out.  I can't find it."

Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now.  "But I've got to", said Sam, "my teeth are in it!"

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Yea, flowers are nice.

Yea, flowers are nice. But have you tried going down on her with pop rocks in your mouth?

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Im writing my autobiography.

Im writing my autobiography.

"Oh nice!"

"Yea im planning on killing off the main character"

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We had a spider in our room..

We had a spider in our room..

My girlfriend told me to take it out,

Seems like a nice guy,

Wants to be a web developer.

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