I brought home a bouquet of roses for my wife

I brought home a bouquet of roses for my wife.

She looked at me in disbelief and asked "what did you do wrong"

"What? I just wanted to do something nice for you, buy you a gift, and this is how you act?" I respond

"Yea right, you think I don't know any better, now you want me to lay in bed naked all week with my legs spread"

"Why" i asked, " you don't have a vase?"

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I brought home a bouquet of roses for my wife.

I brought home a bouquet of roses for my wife.

She looked at me in disbelief and asked "what did you do wrong""What? I just wanted to do something nice for you, buy you a gift, and this is how you act?" I respond"Yea right, you think I don't know any better, now you want me to lay in bed naked all week with my legs spread"... read more

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street...

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street...

... when they see the brunette's boyfriend coming out of a florists with a huge bouquet of flowers."oh no", says the brunette, "now he'll want me on my back with my legs in the air"."why?", asks the blonde. "Don't you have a vase?"

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Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife.

Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife.

"I guess I'll have to spread my legs now.", she says. "Why?", he asks, "don't ya have a vase?".

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A man comes home really really drunk....

A man comes home really really drunk....

...clenching a bouquet of flowers.

He goes to the bedroom, turns on the light and in a slurry voice he says:

"Here ya go honey, these are for you.."

To which his wife angrily replies; "Oh well that's great, I guess now you expect me to spread my legs?"

The man looks at the bouquet, then back at his wife and says:

"Why, you don't have a vase?"

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A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.

A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.

The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her. She then smirks and says to the crowd of women gathered around "I guess this means I will be spending the night with my legs in the air." The blonde then says "Don't you have a vase?"

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My favorite joke from The Sopranos.

My favorite joke from The Sopranos.

A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. "What? Do you expect me to spread my legs for you now?" says the wife. The husband replies, "honey, I love you, but i think a vase will work just fine."

Credit to Uncle Jun.

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